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“Get some rest, Phi. Tonight’s been a long one.”
She reaches for my hand and links our fingers, doing just that for me. Showing me she cares and that our bond can’t be severed despite everything.
“Stay.”
One word with so much meaning. Its significance permeates the air. A closeness that’s been absent for a long while between us.
I take the chance I had considered earlier. I press my lips to hers as my answer. After a night of dealing with the mess surrounding Stefania’s death, I’m as tired as she is. Grabbing her hand, I bring us into her bedroom.
“Let’s get some sleep.”
18. delphine
I wakeup with the same level of grogginess as after a night of heavy drinking. Confusion clouds my thoughts as I piece together what went on the night before. It comes to me in brief, jarring flashes—drinks with Brenda and Medjine. Chester Bailey’s shock of red hair and his enthused smile as he revealed himself. Me wandering the streets feeling lost and aimless. Me lurking outside Skip Little’s home and then our subsequent struggle in his room. The hot, rough passion that had erupted between Salvatore and me.
And the surreal fog that had engulfed me in the hours to follow, as I confessed my darkest secret to my ex-boyfriend.
I’m lying in bed with him in nothing but a tank top and panties. He’s asleep at my side in only his boxer briefs. We’ve been passed out for so many hours the morning fades away with the rising heat of the afternoon sun. I scrabble for my phone to discover seven missed calls, ten text messages, and a slew of unread emails.
Many from Medjine. Most in a wild panic about my absence.
I had a campaign meeting this morning with one of my top donors. After that, I was supposed to meet with Judge Yolanda Ramsey in her chambers at the courthouse for a pretrial conference.
I’ve missed both.
I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with the work-related mess I’ve made. I’m still processing everything that happened last night.
Salvatore knows that I’ve been hunting down men and offing them. He caught me in the act at Skip Little’s home. He ‘punished’ me and then he… had shown a level of concern and affection that had me clinging to him as though he were my oxygen.
In a daze, I hadn’t considered the implication of asking him to stay. As if things weren’t already enough of a mess.
I sit up, groaning and rubbing my eyes. He surprises me when he speaks.
“Morning after regrets?”
“More like morning after confusion. I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.”
“Why?”
I double-blink, staring Salvatore in the face. “Well… because… this isn’t what we should be doing.”
“Says who?”
“Says me.”
“You wanted me to stay.”
“And I just said that was a mistake—”
“You spend your time worrying about what everyone else will think of you—what everyone else wants from you. What the fuck doyouwant?”
“That’s beside the… you’re wrong.”
“I’m right. I’ll tell you what you want, Phi. You want me as much as I want you. Let me know when you’re done fighting it.”
He gets out of bed with the resolve of someone with somewhere more important to be. With as many things as Salvatore juggles at once, he probably does. It’s not often a mafiacapoengaged in all-out-war with his own father, the Don of the family, has time to sleep in ’til noon at his ex-girlfriend’s apartment.
I watch, frozen for a moment, my heartbeat anything but still inside my ribcage.
