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I flip off the light and head out into the sometimes-busy world of my apartment, expecting nothing short of the cavalry. To be honest, I’m hoping to find them. I’m energized and ready to take on my opponents now, but who knows how I’ll feel as the day goes on. I am cooking a baby in my body after all. All I find, though, is Harrison, sleeping soundly under a throw blanket on my couch.
I soften my footsteps immediately, hoping not to wake him, but as he stirs, pushing the blanket down to reveal his muscled bare chest and abdomen, it becomes more than apparent that I’m already too late.
With a little groan and burrow of his head on the pillow, he opens his eyes and looks right at me. I freeze in my tracks as if I’m in the middle of a bank heist rather than strolling through the confines of my very own apartment.
“Hey,” he says softly, sitting up immediately and running a hand through his sleep-rumpled hair.
Good God, he’s sexy.
“Hey,” I parrot awkwardly, tapping a toe on the carpet and putting a hand to my hip to further my casual appearance. “What are you doing here?”
A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth as he scratches offhandedly at his magnificent, tanned chest—which, of course, pulls a tiny bit too much of my attention. I shake my head, trying to focus as he explains. “You passed out cold out here last night. I carried you into bed, but I figured I’d stay here just in case you needed me. I know it was…kind of an emotional night. A lot of highs and lows, you know?”
A shiver runs the line of my body from top to bottom at the memory of the absolute peak—the feel of his lips on mine as we let ourselves fall into what’s evidently been building since we said goodbye after conceiving our little bundle of joy.
“Yeah,” I confirm with a blush, looking to the floor and scuffing my toe against the carpet in an attempt to make it a little less obvious. “Definitely a roller coaster, huh?”
He scoots to the side and gestures to the couch next to him. “Do you want to sit down?”
“No. Thanks. I want to grab something to eat before Freddie gets here to head to set.” I giggle a little and sink my face into my hands. “Oh God. I’m being awkward, aren’t I?”
Harrison chuckles, stands to his feet, and closes the distance between us to wrap me in his arms. His embrace is warm and welcoming, and sweet baby Jesus, the smell of him like this—surrounding me so early in the morning—feels too good for description.
The sweet feel of his warm breath ruffles my hair slightly as he talks directly into it, his lips on top of my head. “I know it’s a lot. And I know it’s complicated. But, Rocky—” He pulls away enough to tip my chin up so that our eyes can meet, and I fall into the trap of his mesmerizing comfort. “I want the complication—I want you.”
My breath catches in my throat, and I have to swallow hard to clear a path for its exit.
“When I decided to move out here,” he continues, still looking into my eyes. “I did it with the expectation that I might not fit into your life. That you might not have room for a man you didn’t plan on, and I made peace with that. As long as I had a shot to be there for the baby, that would be enough for me.”
My heart beats a million miles an hour as he shrugs just one bare shoulder.
“But the peace I made is gone,” he says softly. “I go to sleep thinking about you, and I wake up in the morning doing the same. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself if I keep going like we’ve been, pretending that whatever’s between us isn’t worth being explored.”
“Harrison,” I whisper. “I…don’t know what to say.” For fuck’s sake, Raquel, that is the understatement of the century. I am, in a word, speechless. And it’s not because I’m not feeling the same things—it’s because I am. And I haven’t got a fucking clue how to deal with them. Not while also dealing with the rest of the mess I’ve adopted as normal life.
Somehow, like always, Harrison’s suit of armor takes the chink of my words with ease. The man is damn near impenetrable. Honestly, the only time I’ve ever even seen him restless is when he’s going head-to-head with Heidi.
“So, don’t say anything,” he offers instead. “Just think about it. I have some shit to get done today while you’re on set, so just take the time and think about it. See how you feel.”
I open my mouth to refute his assumption that I need time to think my feelings over, but he shakes his head. “No matter what you decide, I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
