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Beep. Beep. Beep.
I swam up from the vivid dream, slowly opening my eyes. My body was tingling and I could swear whoever I’d been dreaming about was real and that he’d touched me. Whoa. Hold on. What was going on? Where was I? Panting, I tried to move but my body wouldn’t cooperate.
Beep. Beep.
What the hell was the sound? “Oh.” I couldn’t see. What was wrong?
“Oh, my God. You’re awake. Thank God.”
The voice… Something was wrong. No. No!Calm down. Breathe. “Carrie?” I managed, barely recognizing my voice.
“Of course I’m here. Mom and Dad just went to get a bite to eat. I’ll call them.”
“Wha… wait. What happened?” I blinked again, the light far too bright.
“They said you might not remember.” She took my hand into hers and slowly she came into focus. “There you are. You had us worried.”
I blinked several times, finally able to look around me. A hospital. “O-kay. Um… How long have I been out?”
“Four days.”
“The babies!” I tried to sit up, but pain washed through me.
“Stop. Don’t move. I went to your place. The fur babies are just fine,” she insisted. “You knew I’d take care of them. You need to worry about you.” She narrowed her eyes then smiled. “Lots of people care about you. Look at all the flowers. You have several from work,” she pointed. “And the Reynoldses brought the bouquet over there. Even your dog walker brought you a card.”
I kept blinking, trying to put the pieces together, the fleeting images in my mind far too fuzzy to put together. Driving. That’s right. I was going… to the hospital. Snow. Ice. An accident. My car. “An accident,” I managed.
“That’s right. Don’t try and remember. It’s a miracle you’re alive.”
A miracle. Why couldn’t I remember all the details?
Everything was still fuzzy but as my sister lifted her head, I followed her gaze, a strange trickling sensation furrowing in my stomach. “Who sent those?”
“I have no idea. I stepped out for five minutes. They weren’t here before.”
“There’s a card.” I tried to point to it but was very weak.
“I’ll get it for you.” She immediately rose to her feet, moving around the end of the bed. “They’re beautiful.”
“Yes, they are.” Red roses. That seemed like a strange choice for someone recovering from an accident. “I need to get out of this bed. I have a patient who needs me.”
She tossed me a look and she didn’t need to tell me the woman I’d been rushing to see had died. I closed my eyes, furious with God for doing this. I’d been Angie’s only chance. An overwhelming sense of sadness coursed through me. I felt sick inside, ready to throw up. When I tried to move, Carrie stopped me.
“Not yet. You’re a doctor. You should know better. You need to regain your strength.”
I tried to shift, but the pain in my chest forced a hissing whistle from my throat. “I’m a surgeon, thank you very much.”
“At least you’re regaining use of your holier than thou attitude,” she quipped. “It means you’re on the mend.”
“Come here so I can smack you.” It felt good to banter with her like we’d always done, even if a heavy weight remained on my shoulders. Why couldn’t I remember what had happened? I knew all the clinical reasons why. I’d spent collectively hours explaining to families of accidents and violent events why their loved one had trouble remembering anything about what they’d gone through. Yet, I’d always thought if something happened, I’d have no problem remembering every detail.
You’re protecting your mind from the truth.
“Let me take it out of the envelope for you.” I noticed her eyes glanced from one side of the note to the other.
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you have a boyfriend that you didn’t tell me about?” She laughed softly as she glanced at me.
