Page 38 of Becoming His

I blow a deep breath and tell him. “She said you almost attacked Sniffer because I was still having sex with him. Well, she said I was fucking him. I mean how did she even know you were mad last night?” I ask, incredulous. Masen stops breathing. His hand on my arm clenches. I can feel his anger through our bond. “Masen?” I question. “Masen obviously you know that’s not true, right?”

He lets out a guttural breath and pushes me back while he leans away from me. “Of course, I know it’s not true. I had your blood all over my cock and my sheets, but it doesn’t mean I want to hear that shit,” he snaps.

I don’t like the way he’s talking to me. I’m not the one with past loves still calling. I’m pissed. “You don’t want to hear that shit!” I shout and jump from his lap. He opens his mouth. “Uh uh, you think you can sit there all mad about something, that clearly considering the way you talk about my virginity so vulgarly, didn’t even happen, while I had to listen to her tell me you still love her. That you told her so, yesterday. That you are just biding your time until you find a way to get rid of me. That I wouldn’t please you sexually, that I would never be enough. That you’ll be begging to have sex with her, that you already have.” I rage at him. I’m shaking, I’m so mad. My whole body trembles. “Did I forget to mention she’s said you have never once told her it was over. That you didn’t want her anymore. I mean she’s still your damn assistant so that says enough right there. You had to know that would bother me, if only for the past you shared, but let’s be honest, a week ago really isn’t the past,” I hiss. My God, has it only been a week since he’s been with her? I can’t think about that now. “She’s still in love with you. How dare you be mad at the shit storm you created.” My voice falls. I’m losing steam. “You know what? Piss off, Masen!” I say, already walking out of the room.

He leaps from the bed and grabs my arm before I’m out the door. I turn around and jerk my arm free from his hold. “Please wait, please let me explain.” Masen holds his hands out like he’s asking to touch me. He’s begging. His face is sad, white blue eyes clouded with worry and fear. His full lips turned down in a frown. I cross my arms over my chest smashing my breasts.

My anger is evaporating. The hurt intensifies. My voice is soft, when I say, “It’s not supposed to be this hard” —I motion between our bodies— “moments of extreme high followed by hurt and confusion. I know I’m kinda in the dark about a lot of this shifter stuff, but I do know my parents were Mates. We have fought more in the last week than they fought my entire life. Maybe,” my voice cracks, “maybe you’re just not ready for this. Because Masen, I can’t accept anything less than full measure from you. I’ve repeatedly given you everything. My trust, my body, my heart, but I just don’t think it’s enough,” I say on a sob. I rein in my tears. I will not be weak.

Masen falls to his knees and lays his head on my arms that cover my breasts. His arms wrap around me. “It’s enough. Please, you are enough. I don’t know why I’m such a fuck up at being a Mate. The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you, and I know I have. I can’t stand that I’ve caused this. I feel it, feel every emotion. The bitter anger at her and me, that’s deserved. The anger at yourself, that isn’t. The sadness tightening my throat. And, the hurt searing my chest.” He lifts up my arms and wraps them around his shoulders like he needs me to hold him. Then, he lays his head on my breasts. “She lied, none of it’s true,” he says with conviction then starts shaking his head. “Shit, well almost none of it.” I start to pull away. “She is still my assistant,” he rushes to say, squeezing me. “I was going to tell her yesterday I found her a new position. I was in meetings all morning, then those fuckers got ahold of you at the mall. I just left. So, she is my assistant but only because I didn’t get a chance to tell her she’s not.”

My heart rate has slowed down. The hurt lessened with his disclosure. I feel better just knowing she won’t be working so closely to him. I move my hands up to his hair, running my fingers through the perfect mess. Masen’s hands rove my back, my sides, even down my legs, comforting me with his touch. “The rest, Little One, all lies. I swear. I haven’t told her I loved her in five years. Never in my life have I ever begged her for anything, least of all sex!” He growls indignantly. It still bothers me thinking about them together. I need to get past it, for his sake and mine. I need to trust him. I can’t keep letting her make me doubt him.

“Masen, I—”

He squeezes me tighter. “Shh,” he cuts in, “You are enough, will always be enough. You satisfying me sexually isn’t even a question.” His voice drops low like even thinking about it has him needy. “I love being inside you, love licking you. The way you taste makes me crazy, and the way you smell, I get hard even being in the same room. You are so beautiful, baby. The way your big, amber eyes light up when you see me or darken with need when you look at me,” he rasps as he nuzzles my breasts. His hands that were giving comforting caresses are now heated strokes. I don’t think he even realizes it. Masen’s knees bracket my feet, his big body touches mine from toe to neck. The borrowed shirt I wear and his low-hanging, gray pants are the only things separating our skin.

I reach under his arms and try to tug him to stand. “Masen, get up.” He stands, never losing contact with my body. He lifts me and drops his face to my neck inhaling my scent and finding his mark. His nose rubs back and forth a few times before I feel the tip of his tongue caress over my scarring skin. I wrap my legs around him and sigh in contentment. Masen walks us back to the bed and sits down with me now straddling him. I feel his erection between my legs, but he ignores it. Instead, he holds me. Letting us both take comfort from each other. “Masen?” He hums in answer. “Masen, I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah, baby?” he asks as he lifts his devastating eyes to mine. They’re soft and kind. No evidence of our argument muddies them.

I squeeze my eyes closed before coming clean. “I looked through your phone after I hung up. I opened your text conversations. I saw a chat with Michael but didn’t read much. When I saw her name, I opened it with the intention of reading it,” I spout quickly before losing my nerve. I open my eyes slowly not wanting to see the disappointment after we’ve both just been through the wringer.

One brow arches while the other eye squints. “So.” He shrugs. “I don’t care. Were you worried I would be?” he asks, confused.

My body sags in relief. “Yes, I was worried,” I answer. “There a few more things I’d like to talk about now that neither of us are angry. That okay?” He nods, looking a little skeptical. “How do you think she knew about you being upset last night?”

I can read the confusion on his face. “I’m not sure, but she must have overheard one or all three of them talking.”

“But when would she have overheard them?” I ask. I’m being paranoid, I know I am, but what if she has cameras in here or some crazy shit.

“On Fridays and Saturdays, a lot of the pack goes to the meeting hall. There’s usually a band at the bar in the back. That way if things get rowdy we can handle it here, no humans get hurt and no police get involved. We even have karaoke on Wednesdays.” He laughs a little but sounds proud. I can tell Masen takes pride in his pack, he seems very generous. I don’t know if any of the other packs have all the advantages he provides. There’s so much I need to learn, but first, I want to see what he’s created, see him interact with his pack.

“Can we go there tonight? I’d love to meet some of your friends, your pack. Wait, I’m only nineteen, can I get in?”

Masen throws his head back and laughs. “You are so damn adorable. It’s my bar, baby. If I want to shut it down to make love to you on the stage, I could. Can you get in?” He chuckles.

“That sounds kind of nice, maybe next time.” I meant it as a joke, but the way he reacts makes me want to go there now.

His hands grip my hips, and he pushes me down harder on his lap as he grinds up. One of his arms curves around my back. His hand goes to the opposite shoulder, his finger cups my mark as he seeks my lips for a kiss. He kisses me like he needs to, like he can’t help but kiss me. My hands caress his back and up his sides over his massive shoulders to his thick neck. God, I love how he feels. Every inch of his body powerful. As I grow wet with desire, my fingers get bold, grabbing his hair and tugging. His resounding growl encourages me to let my body guide me. I break our kiss and move my mouth to his bottom lip, I suck it gently into my mouth. As I release, I bite a little harder than a tease but not to hurt him. His grunt and the way his hips thrust up let me know it’s okay. I lick the slight pain I caused and move down to his shadowed chin. I let my tongue barely graze his thick hairs, loving the texture against me. I purr with satisfaction.

Moving down his neck, I kiss and suck my way to his ear, occasionally giving a firm bite to his tension-filled neck. I like it much more than I should. I want to mark his entire body with my teeth. I must say it out loud because I hear Masen’s deep voice. “Go ahead, baby. Your teeth feel good on my skin,” he grates through his clenched teeth.

At his ear, I whisper with heated breath, “I need to fuck you, Masen. Then, I want you to make love to me, slow.”

He shudders beneath me, crushing me close. “Love it when you say my name, baby.”

I push away from him enough to look in his hooded eyes, black with need. I nudge his shoulders back so he’s laying back on the bed with his feet on the floor. I crawl down his body, tasting every inch as I go. When I make it to the top of his pants, I stand over him at the foot of the four-poster bed. His enormous body splayed out for me makes me feel so powerful. Knowing he could crush any threat with his bare hands and willingly puts himself at my mercy is heady. His head lifts to watch every move I make. The look in his eyes tells me he’s indulging me. He’s the predator here, always will be, but we are both enjoying my game.

Languidly, I remove my shirt, leaving me naked to his perusal. Masen’s tongue slowly swipes his bottom lip. He looks hungry. I run my hands up his thighs until I reach the waist of his pants. Brushing my cheek against his covered erection, I look up and our eyes meet. “Scoot back, Masen.” When he lifts to move back, I tug his pants down. He hisses out a breath when I drag my short nails down his thighs. I toss the pants on the floor and prowl up the bed. He grips the sheets. I know he’s fighting not to take control. His hard cock, now free, pushes up just past his belly button.

When I’m on all fours, my lips hovering over the engorged head of his cock. I lick him from base to tip with my flat tongue. His back arches off the bed, and he curses. He smells so good, a little like me from last night, but mostly just Masen, like forest, leather and sex. I inhale deeply. “I like smelling my pussy on you, Masen.”

His hips rock forward causing the muscles in his abdomen to bunch. “I only have so much restraint, Little One.” His voice is guttural, dark. I’m pushing him too far, and I love it. Some part of me knows I’m doing this because of her. I smile up at him and bury my nose at his base and scent him. My eyes never leave his.

“Fucking shit, Sophia!” he yells. “I’m going to spank your ass red for this. So play, Little One, but know it’ll be my turn soon.” It’s a dark promise. Shit, maybe I did go too far.

I push my lips to a small pout then finish crawling up until I’m straddling his hips. I lean forward, trapping his cock between our bodies. He rocks up against my soft belly. I kiss his small nipple sweetly, then move over and bite. He moans. His hands fly to my hips. “Masen?”

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