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“Fine. But you can talk to me while we’re standing.” I place my palm on his chest again and put pressure against it, trying to push him off again, to no avail.
He remains motionless for a beat, his eyes searching mine. Then he slowly pushes away from me and stands up. When I sit up and start to push to my feet, he offers me his hand. I don’t take it, getting to my feet on my own.
His lips tug downward as he lowers his hand. “Look, I don’t want to fight,” he says, causing me to snort. He shakes his head, but continues, “I don’t. I just want to make sure that …” He exhales loudly then rubs his hand across the top of his head, something I’m noticing he does when he seems uneasy. “That no one gets hurt. Jax and Hunter … they’ve already been through enough. They don’t need some girl getting between them.”
“I’m not trying to get between them. I just …” I trail off, chewing on my bottom lip. I’m not sure how to follow what I just said, how to deny what he just accused me of causing issues between Jax and Hunter. Still … “I’m not trying to do anything on purpose.” My tone doesn’t carry much confidence and is laced with uncertainty, something I hate in general and absolutely loathe that Zay is hearing it. “But yeah, I can tell I’m obviously causing some sort of issues between them. I’m just not sure what.”
His stormy eyes meticulously dissect me. “You’re not sure why?”
I shake my head. “Not really … I just … I don’t …” I huff at myself in frustration. I hate that I’m acting so uncertain in front of anyone, let alone him. “I already said I’ve had like zero friends in the past, so I’m not good at friendships and stuff.”
I expect him to mock me. This is Zay, after all. Instead, he wets his lips with his tongue.
“You’ve never had any friends?” he questions skeptically. “Ever?”
I give a half-shrug. “Not that I can remember.” Although these random memories that keep shattering in my mind every so often would suggest otherwise. Still, if they are true, that was a long time ago, and I’ve clearly forgotten the proper protocol for being friends.
He considers this for a moment. “Okay.”
Huh?
“Okay what?” I question.
“Okay, I’m going to help you,” he replies simply. “With this.”
Again, I’m not following him. “With what?”
“With making a bridge between you, Hunter, and Jax, so that the three of you can continue to befriends,” he says the word like it’s sarcastically amusing to him “Without drama happening.”
“Why would you do that?” I ask suspiciously. “You hate me.”
“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for them,” he replies with indifference then nods for me to get going. “Now come on before Jax ends up doing something stupid.”
He may still be being an asshole toward me, but I realize in that moment that Zay isn’t completely made up of darkness and turbulent anger. He cares for his friends and that makes it a bit harder to hate him.
I turn and hurry toward Jax’s room with Zay on my heels. When I near his room, I slow to a stop.
“The door’s shut,” I state the obvious. “Should I just knock?”
Zay stops behind me and rubs his jawline. “Try that first, but I might just have to pick the lock.”
Sucking in an inhale, I knock on the door. “Jaxon, are you okay?”
Nothing but silence.
So much soundless silence.
And in that moment, it clicks.
Because I’ve lived in that silence before.
Felt it through my flesh and bones.
“Jax is a cutter, isn’t he?” I ask softly, glancing at him.
His gaze sears into mine. “Why would you say that?”
His question is confirmation that I’m right, and that knowledge makes my heart ache with razor-sharp pain.
