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CHAPTERONE
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Staring out into the crowd, I don’t really pay attention to anything around me. It’s always the same thing. Well mostly. But today is supposed to be about me and my accomplishments. Yesterday was my last day of college, and I finished getting my business degree. And after hearing for the last three years people asking me what I’m going to do with said degree, I know the answer to the question, but have I told anyone . . . nope.
I haven’t even told my sister, CJ.
Everyone around here has more to deal with than me and what my plans are. Sure, I know my dad and mom would be interested in hearing what I intend to do, but still, I haven’t told them.
I guess I haven’t told them because I’m not sure if it’s exactly what I want to do. Truthfully, I feel restless inside and out. See, my life has always been strangely protected, and I didn’t really understand it. Not until my sister was nearly killed, and everyone had to be open about it all with me. When I was a baby, she and I were separated. Our aunt on our mom’s side kept CJ, whose real name is Citrus Jeanna, while giving me to my parents.
The whole dynamic of it all is baffling. My dad, real dad, Fireball, was a member of the club, and club brothers with my adoptive dad, Scorpion. Fireball was killed along with my biological mother when I was too young to remember and from what I hear it was a battle of custody of CJ and me. But due to events going on in Hydra, my uncle’s life, he wasn’t able to get it. Which means the aunt who had things together got custody and she split my sister and me apart.
This part sucked because I never got to see my sister. Not really. And I definitely didn’t see her like I would have liked. Maybe we would have been allowed a bond that sisters are supposed to have. I don’t know. Perhaps if our lives were different altogether, we’d have just what we should have always had.
A mom. A dad. A bond. The chance to be a family.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Scorpion, he’s the best dad and to him, I’ve always been his princess, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about who my real dad is and what he was like. I’ve heard the stories. This was the part never hidden from me. It’s the darker parts that were held back from me. None of them wanted me to know the true horrors of what CJ was going through . . . all in the name of protecting me.
I’ve wanted to say it was complete BS, but I get it. It’s frustratingly sweet of them. At least for most of them. Not all. Not him. Not Grimm.
Without making it obvious, I stare at Grimm through the crowd of men and women drinking and having a good time. Not often is the club open to so many people, but Viking went along with my parents to celebrate my finishing school. Even CJ and a couple of the Devil’s Riot MC came.
I didn’t need all of this though and wish they didn’t go all out. Truthfully, if I could, I’d leave right this minute and go home to the quaint little townhouse I found for rent. But I don’t want to seem rude.I also don’t want to watch as Grimm, yet again, picks up his nightly piece. If it’s not one of the torpedoes, or as the ol’ ladies have dubbed them torpe-da-hoes, it’ll be one of the women who showed up tonight. Some of them are friends of mine. Grimm is known for fucking anything in a skirt. Anything but me.
I don’t know what’s up with him and why he refuses to come anywhere near me. That is unless he has no other choice. And when he does, we always get into it. Mainly because he seems to think I’m the most stupid woman in the world and can’t do a damn thing by myself.A part of me hates him for seeming to think so little of me, yet a larger, much bigger part, including my heart, loves him.
Seeing the way Grimm grins at what I can assume will be his latest target, I give myself an inward shake and climb off the picnic table I’d been sitting on nursing a beer. It’s funny that I’ve finally finished school, and I’m back and able to drink a beer at the clubhouse. It feels like just the other day I was complaining about how everyone was able to drink besides me. Though my mom’s right about me drinking with my friends. I just wasn’t allowed to do it at the clubhouse. And the only reason she knows about it is because she’s caught me with my friends after we’d been at parties.
I chuck the bottle into a trash barrel as I pass it, heading for my car. I haven’t had but one, and I didn’t even finish it. I just want out of here. I need a break,and I need to get my head straight. Maybe I should go somewhere away from here for a little while altogether. It’s not like I don’t have the money saved. I could easily get in my car and drive.
But I won’t do that. I’m too chicken to do anything so reckless or adventurous.Maybe that’s why I’ve never had a boyfriend.
Nope, not going to go down that route. I don’t need to think about what I’ve been through in the heartache field of me trying to have a dating life.It’s always the same, a guy either finds out I’m associated with the Toxic Warriors and wants an in using me or thinks I’m easy and will spread my legs like a whore in heat. That’s not me. Then there are the ones that say I’m not hot enough for them or they claim that I’m a freak that should dye my hair, get color contacts, and maybe then they’d do me with the lights off.
Those comments always hurt because I love my long red hair. It’s uniquely a mixture of what my sister says is a real red and strawberry blonde. And my eyes are an emerald green. So, I like them too considering green is my favorite color.
I make it to my car, pull the key out of my front pocket, and unlock the doors. Without looking back, I open the driver’s door and climb in behind the wheel. My car’s a new model where all I have to do is set the keys down, put my foot on the brake, and push the start button. This is cool and all, but I fear it one day not working for me.
I back out of the space cautious to make sure no one is around for me to hit.
Ironic that I’m leaving my own party before anyone else, but honestly, it’s not what I need or want right now.
I simply want to be alone.
* * *
I groan in relief as I finally make it home. It was a struggle considering my phone kept ringing nonstop from the moment I left.Everyone knows I don’t talk and drive. Usually, my phone is connected to the Bluetooth. For some reason, it didn’t connect this time around. Regardless, I wasn’t in a talking mood.
I make my way into my townhouse loving the space I’ve made my own. Over the past few years, I’ve worked to be able to afford this place without leaning on my parents for help. The only thing I did was dip marginally into the account that was set up for me to help with my down payment. The account holds the money my biological parents left behind for my sister and me. The money was divided between us to use as needed. Other than the one time being used, the money just sits there, not being touched.
Inside, I finally look at the screen to see both my parents had called twice and texted once telling me to let them know I got home, and they were not happy I took off without saying anything to them. Mainly that would be my dad. He’s seriously protective. Two other calls came from Fawn and Peyton. And one from Viking. He’d even texted demanding I call him. My sister didn’t call, she only messaged saying that I needed to let her know I made it home okay.
Sighing, I shake my head and set my purse on the little table I keep by the door, toeing off my shoes. I cross the short distance to my couch, plop down on the cushions, and pull up the first message I come to.
To CJ:I’m home safe and sound. See you later. Love ya.
I send then proceed on to the next.
