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He greeted her at the door with a soft kiss on the lips.
She needed to talk to him. Now.
“We need to talk,” she said, indicating that he sit down on a chair. She needed him far from her. Just that light kiss had been enough to make her weak in the knees. She sat on the chair on the opposite side of the table.
“I think last night was a mistake,” she said. “We were both upset over what happened at the prison, and we let our emotions take over our better judgment.”
The smile on Altair’s face faded instantly.
“You’re still not ready to be my wife?”
“No.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and studied her.
“Why not? Did you not enjoy the sex?”
She felt her cheeks heating up.
“That has nothing to do with it.”
“Then I don’t understand,” he said, sounding frustrated.
Nova sighed. “What we did last night, that was lust. We are obviously attracted to each other, but that doesn’t mean we love each other or even belong together.”
“But Idolove you.”
“No, you don’t.”
Altair looked ready to protest.
“You can’t love me because you don’t even know me. The feelings you were feeling last night, they may be confusing, but trust me, they weren’t love.”
“I know what I am feeling.”
“No! That’s what I am trying to explain to you. You are new to this, and therefore you don’t yet recognize that what you felt was just lust, a temporary emotion that overwhelms us when we are attracted to someone else.”
“Huh. And who decided that this lust is not a form of love?”
“No one decided. Everybody knows. Lust is temporary.”
“And love is forever?”
He got her there. Novadidn’tbelieve love was forever.
“I don’t know.”
“Meghan, I loved you the moment I was told I was matched. I loved you when you stared me down angrily at the wedding ceremony. I loved you every time you’ve frustratingly refused to do what I say. I loved you when you got me drunk. I loved you when you first kissed me. I definitely loved you last night. And I love you now as you try to reject me. Those feelings are never exactly the same, and I suspect they will continue to change as we get to know each other better. But I know what they are. They are my feelings for my wife, the person who will be with me forever. You can belittle them if you want, but you won’t get me to recognize them as anything other than love.”
Nova swallowed. She took a deep breath in and out to stop the tears threatening to come out. She felt a pressure in her chest. No one had ever talked to her that way before. Not that he’d been addressing her anyway. But the pain she felt wasn’t for herself, it was for Altair and what she was doing to him.
“I’m sorry,” she said, even though she couldn’t tell him why.
“I don’t expect you to feel the same way. I know that you can’t. You’ve been here only a short time.”
“Can you give me more time? Can we pretend for a while that last night didn’t happen?”
“Yes,” he said, though he didn’t look happy about it.
