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But then to flounder about like a dying fish and land on the sharpest object in the vicinity simply because the man released me exactly like I’d asked…
And now this.
Damn it. When would my words and my brain agree on thingsbeforeI said them out loud? Especially around this man?
Okay, well, truth be told, that particular problem seemed toonlyoccur around this man.
And if all that hadn’t been bad enough, to then go and admit the secret I’d been hiding for the last six months of my life…
I knew he was going to ask me about the HIV. I knew I was going to have to beg him not to, just like I was going to have to beg him with everything I was not to tell my family.
My heart began to pound in my chest. Each painful thud was accompanied by a sharp, stabbing pain in my head. I closed my eyes in an attempt to stave off the tornado of emotions that wanted to spill from my throat.
The same ones I’d kept imprisoned from the moment the doctor had sealed my fate with a few simple words that alone meant nothing but together meant everything.
“Christopher?”
Rush’s voice was full of concern, and his hold on my hand almost bordered on painful. But I welcomed his firm grip. I used it to try and ground myself.
It just wasn’t enough.
“Did it live?” I managed to grate out, even though it felt like broken glass was being raked along my brain.
“What—?” Rush asked worriedly. I managed to look at Rush as the car slowed down and he began letting out soft curses as one car horn after another went off behind us. I figured it had something to do with me. I suspected he was trying to find a place to pull over.
“Rush,” I managed to call out. “I’m okay,” I lied.
“The fuck you are,” Rush growled. “You look like you’re going to fucking pass out—”
It was only when Rush began to pull his fingers free of mine that I truly began to panic. I saw him grab his cellphone.
“Rush, please” was all I managed to get out as flames of unbearable heat pulsed throughout my entire body.
I must have finally gotten something right in just those two little words because Rush dropped his phone in the cup holder and then covered my hand with his. The car began to speed up again, and the horns stopped.
“Did it live?” I repeated. “The rabbit?” Just speaking those few words felt like it had taken every ounce of energy in my body.
“The rabbit,” Rush softly repeated. The concern in his voice was apparent, but he had a calmness about him that helped slow my racing heart and eased the pounding in my head. “Yeah, she did. I named her Thumper because it was the only rabbit name I could think of besides Bugs, who was clearly a guy, and the Energizer Bunny, which was just wrong…”
Despite the direction his answer was taking, I couldn’t help but find it both amusing and relaxing.
“I was fully expecting to find a horse’s head in my bed after that… well, not a real head or anything, but Catrice was a huge fan of movies, so nothing was really off the table when it came to her getting back at me. Creativeandvengeful… not the best of combinations.”
As the pain in my body began to fall away, leaving only the stinging in my hand, my lids began to feel heavy. In truth, all of me felt heavy… like cement blocks were tied around each limb. But something about Rush’s voice made all of that fade to the background.
“Did you keep her?” I managed to ask.
“Catrice? Hell no, kicked her ass to the curb real quick. Crazy bitch said she’d call the cops if I didn’t give her back the rabbit.” Rush let out a little laugh.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“I let her.”
I chuckled. “What happened?”
“I got rid of her for good when she found out she was facing jail time, I got to keep Thumper, and one of the cops gave me his number. He and I dated for six months before we mutually agreed it was over. Guess what he gave me as a parting gift.”
I closed my eyes and smiled. “What?”
