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So different than when he was awake.
I couldn’t even imagine what the young man had been through in the last days, weeks, and months. I still knew nothing about how bad his condition was and part of me didn’t want to know. That part of me was terrified.
I hadn’t been sure if Christopher had heard me in the car right before he’d fallen asleep when I’d basically told him I was starting to have feelings for him.
I didn’t even know how it had happened, I just knew it was different from what I’d felt before as I’d slogged through the heaven and hell of the dating pool.
The excitement I usually felt when I first met someone I was attracted to had been fun and easy. But with Christopher, it was like my entire body was consumed with the sensation. It and every other emotion or reaction to the young man were amplified by a thousand.
It scared me.
A lot.
Like I’d told Christopher, I hadn’t been in love before, but I’d hoped for it. I supposed a lot of that had to do with how much in love with each other my parents had been. From the day they’d first met to the last day they’d spent together on this earth, they’d loved each other. Sure, they’d fought like any other couple, and I could remember a few occasions where my father had ended up on the couch for the night, but there had never been any doubt that they were soul mates.
Each other’s missing half.
It was a lot for any man or woman to live up to, but I also knew better than to settle. I’d had plenty of opportunities to do just that, but I’d been smart enough to know that trying to spend a lifetime with someone who wasn’t that other part of me would only end in disaster and a lot of hurt and anger.
Now, as I watched Christopher sleep, I couldn’t help but be glad I’d never settled.
I silenced the alarm on my phone and then reached for the glass of water I’d already grabbed from the kitchen. As I approached the bed, my eyes skimmed over the handful of prescription pill bottles on the nightstand. I already knew which ones he needed to take when. I’d practically studied each bottle after getting Christopher settled the night before.
We hadn’t really talked after Christopher had returned to the waiting room. His hand had been freshly bandaged, and he’d had a goofy grin on his face from whatever pain reliever he’d been given. Thankfully, the nurse who’d escorted Christopher had provided me with written instructions on what to watch out for as well as a prescription for additional pain medication. But it had been as I’d been escorting Christopher to the door that Dr. Kleinman had appeared to remind Christopher to stick to his medication schedule. As soon as Christopher had clumsily nodded his head, the doctor had turned to me and practically ordered me to stay with Christopher until he was fully alert and to make sure to give him his medications at the exact times.
Even if I hadn’t literally been following doctor’s orders, I wouldn’t have left Christopher alone. Not when he was so vulnerable. Upon returning to his house after getting the prescription filled, I’d coaxed Christopher into eating some soup I’d found in his kitchen cabinets, and then I’d helped him get ready for bed. He’d been pretty out of it, so he hadn’t fought me on anything, and he hadn’t asked me to leave. Once he’d taken his meds, he’d been out within a matter of minutes, and I’d settled into a not-so-comfortable chair in the corner of the room that seemed to mostly be for his clothes. Pip had kept me company for a while before abandoning me to sleep in the comfort of his owner’s warmth.
I could easily say I’d never been so envious of a cat before.
I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed near Christopher’s hip. Pip immediately came to me, but instead of trying to crawl onto me, he peered over the edge of the bed. I got the silent message and lifted him and gently placed him on the ground. The kitten headed for the closet, where I figured his litter box probably was.
Turning my attention back to Christopher, I put the glass on the nightstand and then gave in to my need to touch him. I stroked my finger over his cheekbone, which was just a bit too prominent. I’d definitely need to make sure he started getting more calories in his system.
I allowed my finger to roam over every part of his face. His silky eyebrows, his perfectly shaped nose, his soft eyelids with lush lashes that matched the color of his hair. It wasn’t until I reached Christopher’s lips that I hesitated. I’d already taken liberties that I shouldn’t have. Not to mention the fact that I was already obsessed with his lips. If I knew what they felt like beneath my finger, I’d never be able to keep from tasting him.
I started to pull my finger back with the intent of calling out Christopher’s name to wake him up when Christopher’s uninjured hand came up to cover mine, keeping my finger in contact with his skin. I flicked my eyes up to see that his own were open and full of something that had my insides tightening and my dick twitching excitedly.
Need.
Not just desire…need.
Since Christopher’s eyes were clear and not glazed over from the lingering effects of pain medication, I left my finger where it was even as Christopher dropped his hand. I knew I needed to say something, to do something that would break the spell we’d somehow both fallen under, but I kept my mouth shut. I’d been dreaming of getting a chance like this pretty much from the time I’d been reintroduced to Christopher, and I wasn’t going to waste it.
His lips were as soft as I’d imagined but also smooth and supple. They were made for kissing.
Me.
They were made for kissingme.
A wave of possessiveness swept through me, consuming me. It wasn’t like anything I’d ever felt before, even when I’d been dating other people. None of them had ever inspired my brain to play the same word on a loop like it was doing now.
Mine.
Christopher hadn’t moved at all when I’d touched his mouth, but now as his eyes slid shut, he drew in a sharp breath and shifted his head enough so that my finger was precariously close to the middle of his slightly parted lips. I took him up on his silent invitation and let my finger slide over the center of his upper lip, then the lower one.
The need to taste him was like a living thing inside of me clawing to get out.
I probably could have kept it under wraps if Christopher hadn’t decided to open his eyes at that exact moment and, more importantly, hadn’t pressed his lips together and softly kissed my finger.
