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“I know how you feel,” Finn murmured very, very softly to me. “But I’m sorry… There’s nothing we can do to stop this.”
My throat bobbed as I forcefully tore my gaze away from their innocent faces. I knew he was right. Ifuckinghated that he was right. We couldn’t help them. We couldn’t save them even if we were stupid enough to try.
They didn’t deserve this shit. Any of it. None of them did. But their fates were already sealed. Mine would be too if I dared made the mistake of interfering. I wasn’t a hero. In this life I’d never be the hero. I was Jace fucking Reyez. A villain. The spawn of the goddamn Devil. It was them or me.
And I had to choose me.
I returned to the club several hours later and sat at the bar, chunking back shot after shot, praying like fucking hell the 80-proof liquor would whip my ass hard enough to scrub the horrible memory of tonight clean from my brain. I was a monster. Their screams still ripped through my skull. The terror on those girls’ faces as they were each brutally gangraped at gunpoint flashed around in my head like a broken slide-show presentation. I should’ve helped them. Goddamnit I should’ve fucking done something to help them.
I slammed the last shot glass down and proceeded to refill all five of them until the liquor poured over on the bar top.
“I think you’ve had enough.” Finn plopped down next to me and yanked the bottle away before I could ever protest. “It’s after three in the morning and everyone has gone home for the night. I think it’s time we both head home.”
Finn grabbed the shot closest to him and chugged it back, gagging a little as he slid it back to me, his face scrunched with revulsion. “I get it man. First Harvest is always the worst. I’d say it gets easier but it never does.”
“Is this your way of trying to make me feel better?” I downed another shot, the burn making my body cringe up and strenuously shake my head. “Because you aren’t doing that swell of a fucking job.”
He sighed and purposely helped himself to another drink. He threw it back then deposited the glass next to the empty ones.
“Come on.” Finn hopped to his feet and pushed his chair in. “I know just the thing that’ll cheer you right on up.”
“No fucking thanks.” At this late hour, I was better off going home and falling headfirst into my living room floor rather than going back out and doing whatever the fuck he had in mind.
I guzzled down my last two drinks then got to my feet, stumbling a little as the rush from the alcohol hit me all at once. I shook it off, ignoring whatever Finn was saying to me, and took uneven steps toward the back exit.
I thought he’d try and stop me, but I was surprised when I made it to my SUV with his presence nowhere in sight. I shouldn’t be driving. I wasn’t drunk, but I couldn’t deny that my buzz was gradually climbing up a steep slope, a little too fast for my liking. My apartment was just a few blocks away. Yeah, I could make it there in one piece. It wasn’t like I’d get busted by the cops for drunk driving. My father had over half of the Storm Ridge PD eating out the palms of his filthy fucking hands.
The car door slammed behind me and as I reached up to grab the seatbelt, bright beams from a set of headlights came up from behind my car.
The fuck?
Reflexively my hand went for my gun. I got out the car, ready to pump some lead into a motherfucker if I had to. Movement shifted from behind the wheel. My finger inched over to the trigger at the exact moment Finn’s head popped up and out of the driver side window.
“Put the gun away and get in the goddamn car.”
“Finn,” I hissed through clenched teeth. Dropping my arm to my side, I blew out a deep, heavy breath. “You stupid fuck. I almost shot you.”
“You can’t shoot someone when you can’t see straight, or at all.” He flashed the beams on and off again, making me curse and quickly whip an arm up to shield my eyes.
Fucking dickhead.
“You’ve drank more than enough to visually impair yourself and you’re not in the right mindset to drive or be by yourself tonight. Trust me, I’m doing you a huge favor.”
I strapped my gun back to my hip and glanced back at my car, hesitating.
“The car will be fine, Jace.”
What? Is he insane?
I spun back to glare at him like he’d seriously lost his goddamn mind. He must have because this was a twenty-thousand-dollar SUV we were talking about. It had a three-thousand-dollar stereo system on top of another five grand worth of subwoofers. I’d sacrifice my left nut before making the mistake of leaving it in the back alley of a strip joint, and I said so.
“Fine.” Finn shook his head. I couldn’t be sure, but through the glare of the headlights it’d looked like he rolled his eyes at me too. “I’ll follow you back to your place so you can drop off the car. But you’re staying with me tonight and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
A low growl rumbled through my chest. What I really wanted was to tell him to fuck off so I could take my tipsy ass home. Finn and I weren’t exactly friends. Other than the club and anything associated with the Outlaws, weneverhung out, meaning our relationship was strictly professional. We were technically strangers aside from that. But as fellow Outlaws, it was our duty to look out for each other in times of need. It was that fact alone that had me reluctantly agreeing to go with him.
About ten minutes later I had my car back home safe and sound. I joined Finn inside his car and in less than a minute we were on the road back to his place.
It might’ve been the booze talking, but this whole situation had me severely pissed the fuck off. It wasn’t Finn I was mad at. I was furious with myself. My father. This life. The Harvest. The love of my life rejecting me.Us. Seeing what I saw tonight and knowing that in a matter of weeks my best friend would be…
