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Samuel stared at her.
“Mother, have you any notion what you’re saying? If I tell them what I know, I condemn Richard. Richard may have the stomach to consign his brother to such a fate, but I haven’t.”
“Knowing Richard, he’s fled England already, assuming you’ll defend your name.” Mother sighed. “He’s always been one for running from trouble.”
Samuel shook his head. Richard hadn’t even fled London. The only person from whom he ran was Samuel. Richard had no fear of the authorities. He knew Samuel well enough not to worry.
“I don’t believe anyone need flee,” Samuel said. “I ought to be able to convince the judge that no treason has taken place. You can be spared, at least, and once this is behind us, Richard will marry, and he’ll care for you. He admitted to me that talk of him producing a Carmichael heir is what began this entire fiasco.”
“You believe that if you’re gone, Richard will take a wife and accept his responsibilities?” Mother frowned. “Worse, you believe I would trade that for you?”
Samuel stared at her. “It’s what you’ve always wished for. To have Richard give up his errant ways and be the man he was born to be. He is heir to the Carmichael name and fortune.”
“I’ve held onto that hope for many years, but I do not place a mother’s dream over your life, Samuel. You must tell the judge the truth. Richard sowed this trouble. Let him do the reaping.”
Samuel dropped an unseeing gaze to the lines of numbers in the ledger. He could confess Richard’s sins. It was no less than his brother had done to him. But would the words be seen as truth, or the desperate act of a guilty man?
Although before now he would have said he didn’t give much thought to public opinion, how quickly that opinion had turned on him hurt. A second son, spectacle wearing and quiet, he’d rarely been noticed by the ton. To have years of perfectly proper behaviour swept away in moments, not only by Richard’s words but, he must admit, by his own behaviour in being unable to resist the temptation of Ellie, cut deep. How easily the tide had risen to sweep him under. If his position was so precarious, what truly was the point of fighting for it?
And not only his standing with the ton. He’d been barred from the Temple of the Muses with painful alacrity. Worse, he’d been barred from Ellie. She hadn’t come to meet him. He hadn’t been permitted to see her. She’d not reached out, even in a note. For a young woman with the audacity and willingness to flaunt society that she’d displayed, her lack of even a note could only mean that she believed what the paper said about him.
Banned from the Muses and bereft of Ellie’s love, what did Samuel have left for which to fight? In one stroke, Richard had stolen all. Samuel couldn’t even know if telling the truth would restore what he’d lost. He did know that, if the judge believed him, Richard could hang. Samuel dropped his face into his hands once more. On the other side of the desk, the couch creaked faintly. Fabric swished. His mother came around the desk and draped an arm across his shoulder.
“You must tell the truth.”
“Richard—”
“Richard will debauch himself into an early grave, just like your father.” Surprised by the hard edge in his mother’s voice, Samuel looked up. Expression serious, she met his gaze. “I love you both. There is no limit to a mother’s love for her children, and no parent should ever be made to choose between them, but Richard has done this thing. More than that, I am not so deluded by affection as to believe he won’t do the same again, or worse. You cannot take the blame for this.”
“You don’t understand. Miss Ellsworth—”
“Is a perfectly nice young woman, and if she is the girl with whom you’re meant to be, she will see that you are innocent and find a way to let you know as much. If she does not, then she is not the girl for you, which means finding love is still a hope you may cherish.”
He shook his head, unsure if it mattered if Ellie loved him as deeply as he wished. He loved her. Replacing her in his heart seemed an insurmountable obstacle in the path of any future happiness. Should not Richard live and enjoy life if Samuel couldn’t?
“If you do not tell the truth, I will.”
Samuel tried to offer a fond smile, but it felt more like a grimace.
“You know your word will count for little against Richard’s, especially if I do not speak in accordance with you.”
“Aye, I do. If I speak to the truth and you will not, I will be deemed quite hysterical. Would you do that to me?”
Samuel patted the hand that rested on his shoulder.
“Your concern bolsters my heart, Mother, and I should hate to do anything to impinge on your reputation, but if it is a decision between your reputation and Richard’s life, I choose the latter.”
“Then ensure that is not the decision the judge must make.” His mother scowled. “Really, it is ridiculous to consider the theft of a private journal to be treason at all. I will mention that if I’m granted the opportunity to testify on your behalf.”
“I strongly urge you not to seek such an opportunity.”
With sudden ferocity, she hugged him to her.
“Oh Samuel, what am I to do with you?”
Her voice held deep sorrow and, suddenly, he saw his upcoming trial from her side. She might lose a son, and hope she lost merely one, rather than see the whole family cast into shame. She must also decide if she should attempt to influence which son would be found guilty. If she helped Samuel and he was found innocent, she would bear some of the blame for Richard’s fate. Their mother would take on some of the guilt Samuel sought to avoid through silence.
Worse, if their mother spoke on Samuel’s behalf and the judge deemed him guilty, she must live on with Richard. Would he even care for her, once Samuel was gone? At best, their mother could hope Richard would carry on as he always had, and leave her to manage the household, as when their father lived.
