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“And you, my girl, how do you cope with the mad one? Does she accept you?”
Before she could stop herself, Iris gave a sharp, mirthless laugh.
“She does not accept me, and makes that abundantly clear at every turn. I have tried to encourage her towards at least bare tolerance, but even that seems impossible. I cope, because I am Leon’s wife, and she is his sister. If it were one of my sisters so stricken, I would not abandon her – I cannot expect him to abandon his sister. Nor would I abandon him – I knew well what I did when I married him, even if no one warned me of Maggie’s plight at the time. But, if we are to be brutally honest, as it seems you desire, then I will most freely admit that it is not easy.”
She stopped, wondering if she had just gone entirely too far – at Lady Neelsham’s question, all of her frustration with the situation had risen up within her, driving her to speak far more bluntly than she should have. Those sharply intelligent eyes studied her, as if she were some scientific specimen.
“You, my girl, are refreshing. I long ago abandoned all hope of getting honesty from most of the ton, but it appears you are an exception. And if the mad sister has not sent you running from Leon’s estates to hide with your family, then you’re made of sterner stuff than I’d expected. But…” here she paused, and sipped her tea, before continuing in a softer voice, “…if, for whatever reason, you do find yourself in need of… respite… then you may come to me. Sometimes, the safest thing to do is retreat, at least temporarily.”
Iris felt her jaw drop, and forced herself to close it, to smile softly, and then to answer. That answer was also honest, and improper – but it was called for.
“Lady Neelsham, I do not know if that offer is a kindness, or a condemnation. If you think that I would so abandon Leon, if things became… difficult, then you underestimate me, and perhaps I should be insulted. On the other hand, if you offer in a genuine wish to help, should true disaster befall – God forbid – then I thank you – for I have gained the impression that there are few people you might make such an offer to.”
The older lady froze in place for a moment, her eyebrows rising. Then, after carefully setting down her teacup, she allowed herself to laugh. It was a genuine laugh, unrestrained, and she clapped her hands together once in delight. Leon reached out and twined his fingers with Iris’, squeezing gently. When the laughter subsided, Lady Neelsham spoke again.
“I like you. And there are not many young women I like. It was a genuine offer, but the more I hear from you, the more I think that you have the strength to deal with all of this after all. Whatever happens, grant me the favour of always being this honest with me in future. And… make my grandson happy. He does not deserve the difficulties he has been forced to bear.”
What could she say to that? Her heart filled with pity for the woman before her, who had seen her loved granddaughter transform into a monster. Lady Neelsham did not deserve that burden, any more than Leon did.
“I… I will do my best, my Lady, and pray that it is enough.”
“I begin to believe that it will be. But let me say one more thing – one more thing that politeness says I should not, yet I am beyond tired of it haunting us all and no one speaking of it. My granddaughter is dying – I know that, and you know that. It is a slow painful death, of the body and the mind. I, for one, will be grateful when that agonising process is over. One should not wish anyone dead, yet when the inevitable is plain to see, it is not unreasonable to wish suffering ended. When Maggie dies, my daughter will finally be freed, but I am quite certain that she will also be lost and despairing. Promise me, that when that time comes, you will help her, as well as her son, your husband?”
Iris allowed the words to sink into her mind. They were cold hard words, yet they echoed the thoughts she had considered so often of late. Maggie’s death was inevitable, her steady decline obvious, yet no one spoke of it, as if by not saying the words, the truth of them could be avoided. Well, now they were spoken. Leon’s hand had clutched hers harder, so hard that it hurt, as his grandmother spoke. Still, she returned that pressure.
“Lady Neelsham, I thank you for saying the words that none of us want to be real. And I promise you that I will do whatever I can to support everyone through the dark days ahead.”
Chapter Eleven
“A child, Camellia?”
“Yes, in a few months from now. You will be an aunt, Iris, again.”
“I can see by looking at you, that you are well, and happy.”
“I am – I have had none of the sickness in the mornings that Lily suffered with hers – and for that I am most grateful! But… perhaps you will soon be increasing as well?”
Camellia regarded her sister with a raised eyebrow, and Iris had to force herself to keep her expression cheerful and undisturbed, despite the fact that Camellia’s words made her want to squirm on her seat. She could not admit to her sister that now, even after more than two months of marriage, they had not…
She waved a hand as if those words had not just struck straight to her heart.
“I am sure that it will happen when God wills it.”
Camellia regarded her closely for a moment, then apparently chose to let the subject drop, much to Iris’ relief. Beside her, Leon released a breath, and she realised that he had been holding it, waiting to see where that conversation might take them. At that moment, the servants came to clear that remove from the table, and all conversation paused while the dishes were cleared, and the dessert course was brought in.
Once it was served, Damien turned his attention to Leon.
“Tell me a little of your plans for your estates, Greenleigh – are you tied to the traditional approaches to how your land is farmed, or exploring the new ideas?”
Iris almost laughed – that question told her, in an instant, that Damien and Camellia had been visiting Hyacinth and Kevin recently, for they had embarked on a program of modernisation at Chester Park. She realised, as she had that impulse, that she was just as interested in Leon’s answer as Damien might be – for she had no idea of his plans. Her life had been so constrained by Maggie, and the difficulty of her days, that they had never spoken of such things.
“I must confess that I am only just beginning to have any plans. During the year of mourning for my father, my attention went to simply coming to know the tenants and the estates properly, and the last few months I have been rather… distracted… from such matters.”
Iris froze for a moment – had he just implied that she was the distraction? That was certainly how Damien and Camellia appeared to have taken it. Perhaps that was for the best. She smiled, then took a mouthful of the excellent pudding before her, waiting to see what would be said next.
“Distracted? Well, I suppose that’s understandable.”
For a moment, Damien and Camellia met each other’s eyes, and Iris envied them what she saw in that look. It was full of love – love untrammelled by the need to bow to anyone else’s requirements. There was a moment of silence, then Leon spoke again.
