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I’m damn near panting when I enter the clubhouse through the back door.
I take a moment in the silence to press my back to the door with my eyes closed, trying to get better control of myself. I inhale deep breaths through my nose and release them slowly past my lips, but my heart is still racing when I reopen my eyes.
“Shit,” I hiss when I find Ugly standing a few feet from me.
He doesn’t ask me what’s wrong. From the look in his eyes and the shake of his head, I can read him like an open book.
The man has to have some idea of what happened between Aro and me, even if he doesn’t know all the details. According to Misty and Em, Kincaid is also aware. I seriously suck at keeping shit a secret even when I don’t open my mouth to make my confessions.
Ugly waits until I step to the side before walking out the back door with two bottles of water in his hands.
Aro needed a drink. He wasn’t waiting for me like I suspected.
Instead of telling me to get lost, he tested the waters, saying that shit about me pulling his hair just to gauge my reaction. I don’t know if he got the reaction he wanted.
Hell, I don’t know much of anything these days other than I seriously need to move on.
Aro isn’t the type of man to have sex a couple of times with a woman and fall in love. I’ve seen the proof of it slinking out of the clubhouse at dawn with wild hair and messy mascara too many times to convince myself otherwise.
Being stuck on the man is my problem, not his. The sooner I can wrap my head around that and accept it, the better off I’ll be.
My shower is quick, my hope that Kincaid upgrades the water heater high after my cold shower. Too many people using them right after yoga to ensure everyone gets a hot one has been a problem since the start.
Giggles and whispers of love follow me back down the hallway.
I know many, if not all, of the couples still in the clubhouse will be moving out soon, and those of us still single won’t be subjected to overhearing what goes on behind their closed doors for long, but the sooner the better as far as I’m concerned. Each snicker and moan of pleasure is one more slap in the face that I’ll probably be single for eternity, and I blame Aro for me feeling that way. Before Albuquerque, I never even dreamed of something like that for myself. Of course, a husband and kids were eventually always the plan, but it was one of those far-off fantasies that I never let myself engage in often. It was more an idea than anything else, not something I actively longed for.
I stop short when I see Kincaid walk out of the conference room before I can clear the hallway.
“Do we have a meeting?” I ask hopefully.
I seriously need a change of scenery, and since I know Aro isn’t ready to go back in the field, I’d be able to do it without having to see him around every corner.
“The printer at the house is out of ink,” he says, holding up a package with dual cartridges in it. “How are you?”
“Fine,” I answer quickly.
He narrows his eyes, suspicion clouding his gaze.
“You’re sure?”
I shake my head before nodding, confused myself.
“Yeah. I’m sure.”
“Nothing to say to me?”
I slow blink at the man. Is he wanting me to tell him what happened between Aro and me?
Despite what Dr. Alverez said about not crossing any ethical lines, I still feel a wave of guilt.
There’s nothing in our contracts that say anything about getting involved with other Cerberus members, despite it being an unspoken rule for so many. Rivet married Shadow’s youngest son Cannon in a courthouse wedding recently because she didn’t want a big deal made about it. That leaves me as the only single female Cerberus member left. I can see how Kincaid wouldn’t be happy about the problems that would come along with two Cerberus members getting involved and what it could cause in the field.
Any person faced with protecting their team over the one they love with every part of their heart would make the same choice. It could be detrimental to so many people.
“Your counseling?”
“What?”
“You didn’t tell me your counseling was over,” he says, his brows drawing in like he doesn’t understand the conversation that he started.
“Oh, yeah,” I say quickly. “I finished.”
“You’re sure?”
“Am I sure I finished? Yes. Dr. Alverez was moving on to the next person on her list.”
“I mean are you sure you’re ready to go back into the field?”
“Anxious and excited, all at the same time.” I try another smile, but it feels as strange as the one I gave Aro in the gym earlier.
