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“Exactly,” she said. “Because it isn’t true. Don’t say words you don’t mean, little one. You’re only lying to yourself.”
Sue walked down the hallway to get to the kitchen. I heard her moving dishes around so I pushed out of my chair and walked to the kitchen next.
“Sue, can I ask you something?”
She dropped the dishtowel and turned to face me, nodding her head. ”Of course, Jenny. Anything.”
I sighed, leaning my lower back against the counter. “Have you ever loved someone—like, a lot? To the point that you feel like you’d do something really stupid just to get their attention?”
She put on a simple smile. “Yes. I have.”
“And have you ever actually done anything stupid?”
“Oh, plenty of times, sweetie. That’s what love will do to you.” She rubbed the heart of her chest. “It will make you say and do really stupid, really crazy shit.”
I laughed. Sue had a potty mouth. I loved that she only used it around me. She trusted me.
“I want to call him, but at the same time I don’t, because I’m pissed at him. He just… left. And I have no idea where he is.”
“Maybe he didn’t want to tell you because he wasn’t sure himself?”
I exhaled. “I guess I will never know. I was stupid to think he cared about me.”
“I don’t believe that. You know, I saw him once.” I blinked quickly, but she continued. “I saw you with him. I was coming back from the drug store one night—a couple weeks ago—and I saw you getting out of the truck at the gates. I stopped driving when I saw him get out. He came to you, and he kissed you before leaving. It was the sweetest thing I’d seen in a long time. He kissed you and held you like he loved you—like he would never let anything happen to someone as beautiful as you.” Sue sighed and folded her arms. “I know you want to hate him, but at the same time I see how difficult of a task that is for you. You know he loves you; he’s probably just in a very tough situation right now. You have to put yourself in his shoes and try to understand him too.”
Sue was right. And thinking about the night she was mentioning made me feel even worse. The night she was talking about was when we went to see a movie before he had to go to work.
We had fun that night. I ate lots of popcorn and M&M’s. He stuffed his face with cheesy nachos. It seemed so casual and simple, but to me it was much more than that.
After my talk with Sue, I went up to my room. I sat in the recliner in the corner with my knees drawn up to my chest, and I stared at my cellphone on top of the vanity.
I had the urge to call him—text him.
I wanted to know what he was doing.
I wanted to know if he was okay.
By five that evening, I caved.
I jumped out of the recliner, grabbed my phone, and called him. It went straight to his automated voicemail. I tried again. It did the same.
So I sent a text. I figured he was busy doing something. Working maybe? I didn’t know.
Me: I leave in two days. Can I see you one more time? At the bridge we used to meet at?
After I sent that text, I tossed my phone as if it were on fire and stared at it. I picked up my guitar and started strumming random notes to distract myself.
An hour later, it buzzed.
I dropped my instrument and dashed for the phone like a mad woman.
And when I saw his name, I lit up like a bright, burning star.
Drake: Meet you in an hour
An hour? Well, that wasn’t much time at all, but I was going to take it. I started to wonder if he’d even moved out of town. The only city an hour or even close to that from Fox River was Duluth. Was he there?
Fuck it. It didn’t matter. I was going to see him again. That’s all that mattered in that moment.
I hurried for my closet with a broad, cheesy smile on my face. Most of my good clothes were packed in duffle bags for school, but I had a floral dress I had only worn once. It was simple. It came to my knees, the sleeves stopped mid arm.
I got dressed, applied some makeup, did my hair up, and then I went back for my phone. I grabbed my keys next and then checked the mirror.
I looked nice. Hopefully nice enough for him to realize what he was missing out on.
I jetted down the stairs. Sue was sweeping the foyer as I passed by her. “He’s going to meet me!” I sang.
