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Flour covers my face, I have food in my hair and on my clothing, and I’m smiling so large, I don’t remember the last time I kissed her. A desperate, clinging kiss. A goodbye, because I know now. I have to let her go.
Even if she doesn’t come back to us.
Because Roxxane was never meant to be locked away. She is meant to be free, wild, and uncontrolled. Even now, with laughter on our lips and happiness coating her expression, I know she’s pondering if she would really be here if she had a choice.
She’s too strong, too fucking strong for this.
If she chooses this life, I could accept it, but she didn’t, she had no choice, and I have to give her that. Even if it ruins my family.
Even if it means the end of the Vipers.
I have to let her go.
Chapter Thirty-Six
ROXY
Islept in Ryder’s arms again last night, after we had showered of course. At least he stopped working for a little bit, even if the conversation did turn dark. So when I wake up and he’s gone, I’m not surprised to find a note on his pillow.
See you soon. Behave.
Asshole. With a smirk, I slip into one of his shirts and then freeze, recalling our conversation last night. Was he really contemplating letting me go? I don’t know, but if he does…will I leave? I’ve gotten used to living here, and I really do care for them…they make me feel alive, they make me happy, but can happiness, can love, really happen when I had no choice?
I don’t know, but I doubt it will bother them. They made a choice, and they will stick to it. I already decided to stop fighting and just start living, so even though I miss my old life, I push it away.
When I get downstairs, it’s just Diesel and Garrett. I slip into my chair, and Garrett passes me a coffee, our fingers lingering. “So, where’s dumb and dumber?” I smirk.
Garrett snorts, but Diesel doesn’t even look at me. “Going through that list.”
I nod and lean closer to Diesel. “Hey, hot stuff, guess that means it’s you and me again.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him. He grinds his teeth and storms off, leaving me staring after him. “Erm, care to explain?” I ask Garrett.
I turn back to see him watching me sadly before he wipes his face clear of emotion. “It’s nothing, just a bad night, don’t worry about it. So what do you want to do today?”
“Erm, anything,” I answer distractedly, as I look in the direction where Diesel disappeared to. “Is this him angry?”
Garrett actually laughs. “Hell no, you’ll know when you see him angry, baby. He will be okay. Now, today…”
I nod as he talks, but my mind keeps going back to Diesel. What’s wrong with my crazy Viper? And how do I make it right? I never thought I would miss his brand of crazy, but as the morning drags on, I hate it. I want my crazy, batshit Diesel back, so I enlist Garrett’s help. He sets up as I go to find him.
I find him lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Leaping onto it, I crawl up his body and press my face to his. “Your little bird is being naughty, want to help?” I grin.
He blinks, his arms wrapping around me. “Like you need my help,” he mutters, but his voice is off, his blue eyes not as brilliant as usual.
“Uh-uh, come on, crazy pants, or I’ll have all the fun, and then who will punish me?” I wink and grab his hands, yanking him up.
He sighs but lets me, and when he’s on his feet, I throw myself at him. He has no choice but to catch me as I wrap my legs around his waist and bite his lip, making him groan. “Play with me,” I murmur.
His hands clench my ass and hold me tighter. “Little Bird,” he growls, and I’ve never been more relieved. Biting his lip until I taste blood, I yank myself away and tumble to the floor before I get up and run.
I hear him laugh as I race down the corridor. “I’m going to get you, Little Bird!” he calls. Once, that would have terrified me, but now it just sends desire spiking through me while I laugh.
I make it to the living room and leap onto Garrett’s back, who’s bent over and sorting the chair. He grunts, reaches out, and grabs my legs to keep me there as he straightens just as Diesel slides into the room with a smirk. “Hiding, my little bird?” he coos and prowls closer, making me laugh in Garrett’s ear.
“Uh-uh, she bribed me into one of her plans.” He shrugs and then laughs as he tosses me at Diesel. I yelp as I fly through the air, but Diesel catches me with a grunt, knocking the breath from my lungs for a moment as he wraps me in his arms.
“So what’s your evil scheme, Little Bird?” Diesel grins down at me.
“We’re going to tattoo Garrett.” I smirk.
