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What if what I need can’t be bought?
But has to be given?
Chapter Thirty-Seven
KENZO
None of us slept.
Diesel stormed off after the decision was made, fuck knows what to do, but I know there will be a bloody path through the city, and I don’t know if he will come back. Garrett leaves as well, to fight, no doubt. For someone who wanted her gone since the moment she arrived, he was reluctant, angry even, at the mention of letting her go.
Because he loves her like I do.
But I love her enough to let her go. To give her what she needs. I thought the car might help, but when she got back, I could see the truth in her eyes. It will never be enough. We will never be enough, not without her freedom.
I heard her the other night with Ryder, and he hasn’t been the same since, so when he called the meeting after she slipped off to bed, it wasn’t a surprise. I was ready. They call me a romantic, soft, and maybe I am, but Ryder? He’s logical, and it’s the only reason I think the others listened.
Roxy is free from us.
We are letting her go.
And I’m praying to whoever the fuck listens she’ll come back because, for once in my life, I’m happy. I have everything I need, something money could never buy—someone to walk this life with. It just so happens that someone is also for my brothers as well, which makes sense. No one would ever come between us.
The same brilliant, strong, fierce, angry, smart, and sexy woman.
She’s our heart. Our softness. Our reason, in such a short amount of time. But for her? We are her captors.
I wait for her to wake up, my heart in my throat and my stomach in knots. Will she be happy? Sad? Fuck. Ryder sits with me. Two brothers, side by side, ready to face another problem together. It feels like when we were kids, waiting to confront our father, waiting for the hurt to come. Ryder retreats into that ice like always, but I can’t. I feel it all.
Pain.
It’s in every breath I take. If she leaves, what will become of us? Diesel and Garrett have already left. If she isn’t here, will they come back?
We can go on without her, we will survive, like always, but we are tamed snakes now, and without her, it will all be for nothing.
I fell in love with her slowly. The first time she smiled at me. The first time I made her laugh, our first kiss, our first time together. When she fell asleep in my arms and held my hand at my mother’s grave. When she confided in me, trusted me. When she stopped flinching, when she started reaching for me. Trusted me.
I fell a little more each time until, before I knew it, I was completely in love with her. I’m hers, but she’s not mine.
Not fully. Her heart still reaches out to the city. To her old life. To her freedom beyond these walls. Nothing will replace that, no gift or love. She needs to be free.
And I need her to not hate me.
I couldn’t bear it.
I couldn’t stand hate in those eyes once again. Love means pain, I know that, but this pain? It might just wreck me this time. I survived loss before with my mother, but this feels so much worse.
She’s awake early. I hear her moving around, and I can’t help but smile. She’s like us, always ready to face the day, dressed and made up, only letting her guard down around us. Ryder is frozen next to me, but I see his hands curled into fists under the table, so I do something I haven’t done since we were kids—I reach over and grip one. “Whatever happens, you will never lose me,” I tell him without looking. It’s something I should have said a long time ago. I know his fears. That he thinks he will become our father. “You will never be him. This is the right thing to do, brother.”
“I know, but it feels so wrong,” he whispers brokenly.
“I know,” I whisper back, throat clogged. “But her life is not ours to take. It never was. She was never a debt, never a business deal, she was always our destiny, but sometimes it comes at the wrong time.”
“What do we do now?” he queries, and I turn my head to meet his lost eyes. In his suit and those dark eyes, I see the kid he once was, the one who lost his mum too young, who lost his innocence at the hands of a cruel father. The man who always knows what to do is lost right now, same as me. Our perfect life and plan are broken because of one woman.
His greatest fear realised.
“We keep living, like always. One breath after another. Let me protect you this time, brother, let me do this,” I tell him, being the strong one for once. He needs it. He needs to lean on people, even if he doesn’t know it. Roxy taught me that.
