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Chapter Twenty-Four
Jayden
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IVY WAS HERE. IN MYpenthouse. And she was pregnant.
It felt wrong to even consider that I might be happy, especially after what I’d done. Ivy was grieving, and now she was pregnant. Pregnant. I couldn’t even imagine what she must be going through emotionally right now, but I’d be there for her, no matter what. Even when she pushed me away. Maybeespeciallywhen she pushed me away.
A crazy amount of information had hit me. I was still processing it.
I had no doubt in my mind that I wanted this baby. It wasn’t going to be easy—Ivy and I had a lot of work to do on where we’d go from here—but there was no way I wasn’t going to let this work.
I wanted to scoop her up and run far away from the city with her. We’d find a little house in the countryside and get a dog.
I tucked her hair behind her ear. “Thank you for telling me, Ivy. I don’t deserve you. I know that.”
“You’re not angry with me for not telling you sooner?”
“How could I ever be angry with you?”
I kissed her again, gently, seeking her permission.
“You’re so brave, Ivy, baby. You’re the bravest person I know.”
I couldn’t even imagine the emotional strength it was taking her to be here with me.
I kissed the tears from her cheeks and realised she wasn’t the only one crying. A part of me thought she would distance herself from me, and if she had, I wouldn’t have blamed her in the slightest. But she seemed as starved for me as I was for her, and she kissed me back, even through our tears.
“Not in here,” she said.
I understood why. The open-plan layout of the living space meant she could see where her brother had died.
I caught her up, her thighs around my waist, and carried her into the bedroom, shutting the door behind us with my foot.
I didn’t deserve her forgiveness. I didn’t deserve this second chance, but I was going to grab it with both hands. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to make up for what I’d done to her, but I sure as hell was going to spend the rest of my life trying.
Laying her back on the bed, I covered her with my body. I kissed her mouth again, loving how she slid her tongue over mine. We’d always fit so perfectly together. I left her lip and trailed my kisses down her jaw and throat. She tasted like coming home.
“Even if you choose to punish me every day for what I did, I’ll be here for it,” I told her. “I’ll get down on my knees and take it again and again, because no other punishment comes close to not having you in my life.”
“My heart is broken, Jay. I still don’t know how to mend it.”
“I know. I’m so sorry, baby. Let me try. Please, just let me try.”
She pressed her lips together and nodded, her eyes slipping shut as though a part of her still couldn’t bear to look at me. I hated that I’d caused her such pain. It was the reason I’d been out picking fights every other night, so I could be punished.
I felt her pain as though it was my own, as though we shared one heart. But I could never fully know what she was going through, and I wouldn’t insult her by claiming I did.
Carefully, as though she might break, I undressed her, pulling her t-shirt over her head, easing her sweatpants down over her hips. I reached beneath her back to unclip her bra and tossed it away.
I wanted to consume her completely, to meld myself so tightly to her that we became one person.
I took in the subtle but definite changes in her body. Her breasts were fuller than before, a light spiderweb of veins beneath the soft skin, her nipples plump and beautiful.
