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Elliot leans back against the booth of the Mexican restaurant we came to after the game, the picture of ease. “Will you date me?”
I stop chewing and start choking. “Wh-wha—?” That’s how surprised I am—I can’t even finish the word what.
Can seventeen-year-olds have strokes? If so, I’m having one right now.
“I think we should date.Pretendto date, I mean.”
I stare at Elliot for a minute then finally swallow.What. The. Fuck?“You’ve hit your head on the ice too many times, Reid. I don’t want to date you.” Small miracles do exist, apparently, because there’s no false note in the words.
“I saidpretend, Denny. It’ll be just like now, except people will assume we’re having sex.”
I choke a little. This is why most girls don’t have attractive,malebest friends. Because topics—like sex—that are usually comfortable to discuss with good friends—over, say, strangers on the street or parents—become exponentially moreuncomfortable.
Elliot mentioningsex—sex withme—prompts a hot flash to flood my skin, akin to opening an oven cranked to high.
“Please, Denny.” Elliot seems oblivious to any inner turmoil caused by his casual reference to us doing the naked tango. He leans forward and flashes me anAw, shuckslittle boy grin. Except there’s nothing innocent about it. Paired with the dusting of stubble on his jaw, the angular lines of his cheekbones, and the thin scar that bisects the end of his right eyebrow, it’s a dangerous weapon. It should come plastered withDon’t drive a car oroperate heavy machinerylabels. My mind goes blank for a minute.
“I have no doubt you could find an actual girlfriend, if you suddenly want one.” I’m impressed I’ve managed to form words.
Elliot leans back with a huff. “I don’twanta girlfriend. That’s why this is perfect. I’m sick of telling girls I’m not interested.”
I make a mock sympathetic face. “Oh, you poor guy. Too much female attention—you should see a therapist for that.”
He rolls his eyes. “They don’t wantme. Just my dick.” I start coughing again. Eyes watering, I reach for my water glass. “You okay?”
I nod furiously between gulps. “Yeah. Yup. Got some spice.”
“There are only so many ways you can tell someone you’re not interested. Or we hook up and then she gets pissed when I don’t want a repeat, even though I told her that from the start. It’s a lose-lose. I’m sick of it.” He takes a bite of taco. “If I have a pretend girlfriend, I can just say I’m taken. Then I’m a saint for not cheating.”
I shake my head. “They need to do more studies on the male brain. I think you’re still in kindergarten, developmentally.”
“It would be so easy, Auden. You wouldn’t have to do anything.”
He used my name. He’s actuallyseriousabout this. “Yeah, I wouldn’t have to do anything—exceptlie.”
“Barely.”
I scoff. “No. Absolutely not. Find someone else to drag into your web of deceit.”
“There’s no one else I trust. Besides, it wouldn’t work with anyone else. I already know everything about you. You don’t even live here. And you’re not on social media!” He ticks the reasons off one by one. “You’re perfect.”
Under any other circumstances, hearing the guy I’m hopelessly crushing on utter those two words would make my day—my week, month, year. But that’s the thing about me and Elliot: we are hopeless. I accepted—or amtryingto accept—that we’ll never be more than friends. I don’t want to know what it’s like to be his girlfriend, pretend or not. It’s like waving a cocktail underneath the nose of an alcoholic.Just imagine how great this tastes!
Hard. Pass.
“You’re insane,” I inform him. “Other guys have successfully navigated the awkward situation of letting a girl know they’re not interested in them forcenturies. You can do the same.”
“You don’t get it.”
“You’re right, I don’t. I don’t attract the same amount of attention. Thanks for rubbing that in, Eli.”
Elliot laughs, which I’m not expecting. I was anticipating an apology. An apologetic expression, at least. “Like there’s anything to rub in. It’s more than just that, and you know it. I’m a meal ticket.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re hot, Elliot. It has nothing to do with hockey.”
“You’ll think differently at Josh’s party tonight.”
“Well, you did just win a national championship. I know I’mAmerican, but I kind of got the vibe it was a big deal.”
