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“It felt like my business when you stripped in that boathouse, Auden.”
“I’m trying to move on,” I whisper. “That’s what time and space mean. Just…let me. Okay?”
He starts shaking his head even before I finish. “I can’t…” He sighs. “Imagining you with someone else pisses me the fuck off. Actually seeing you with that guy tonight?” He exhales deeply. “Look, I was wrong—that night on the dock. I like you too much to do anythingbutdate you, Auden Lane Harmon.”
Those words affect me, but I fight to act like they don’t. “Nothing has changed.”
“I’vechanged. As soon as I met you, I knew you would matter. I was fucking determined not to let you, to have you in my life and still stay focused. But I’m losing you, and Ican’tlose you.”
“I don’t want you to fight because you’re worried about losing me to another guy, Elliot.”
“Do you know why I’m so focused on hockey?”
I nod. “Because of your dad.”
“Yeah. But why?”
“You want to be different from him,” I whisper.
He nods. “Yeah. My dad was good—great—at hockey, one of the best to ever step on the ice. But you know what he was terrible at?” I shake my head. “Telling people how he felt about them or showing up when it really mattered. Do I want to rub his face in the fact that I turned outbetterthan him,withouthim? Yeah. Was I worried what happened with him and my mom screwed me up so bad I’d never want to let anyone in? Yeah.” He takes a step forward, those damn blue-gray eyes boring right into mine. “But I letyouin, Denny. I let you in a long time ago. I’ll figure out some balance.”
Annoyance and happiness war within me. He’s saying everything I’ve waited years to hear, but I can’t trust it. I suck in a shaky breath.
“You’re going to resent me. You told me you’d resent anyone who pulled you away from hockey. When you don’t play well because you didn’t watch film or—”
“I said thatyearsago! I barely knew you then. I was just a kid with a chip on his shoulder the size of Canada. And I—” A buzzing sound follows that declaration. He pulls his phone out of his sweatpants and glances at the screen. “Fuck.I’ve gotta go.”
“Elliot, I—”
“I thought you trusted me.”
“I do! But I alsoknowyou. You can say you want this to work all you want, but you’re mad about Pat and me asking for space and you chose hockey long before you ever met me. I’m never going to be able to compete against that.”
Elliot’s phone buzzes again. He answers it this time, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. “Yeah. I’ll be right there.” He hangs up. “I have to go.”
I stare at him, trying to come up with a way to part on slightly better terms. “You played really well tonight.”
He half-smiles. “Yeah, well…I hoped you were watching.”
I smile, but it collapses quickly.
He hesitates, then says, “Just…give me a chance to prove it to you, Denny. Don’t date the guy. Unless you want to, unless you’re into him. But don’t tell me that right now, if you are, okay? Because I’m about to get on a bus with twenty other guys who look up to me, and I really don’t want to cry in front of them.”
My eyes start to burn. I bite down on my bottom lip. “Elliot…”
“I never saw the appeal of a relationship. I saw how my parents’ fell apart, saw all the drama at school. And then…” He glances away, then looks back at me. “And then when I was sixteen, I walked into a coffee shop I’d only been to twice before…and I justknew.”
“You never…”
“Other guys on the team have girlfriends, Auden. We’re not striving for the impossible.”
“Do those guys stay after practice? Watch film on every single team? Did those guys score two goals and an assist tonight?”
His jaw works. “Winning isn’t everything.”
“Iknow that. I just don’t thinkyoudo.”
He opens his mouth right as his phone buzzes for a third time. Before he speaks, I know that will be the end of the conversation. “I’m sorry. I really have to go.”
