Page 80 of The Muse


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I follow him to his room that’s lit only by the small lamp at his bedside table. He sits on the edge of the bed and holds his head with one hand. The painting is in the corner, facing the wall.

When I remain rooted to the floor, Cole looks up. “Aren’t you going to look at it?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Because then it’s truly over.

I say nothing, and Cole nods miserably.

“I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me, Ambri, and I also can’t watch you go.” He sets his glasses on the nightstand and rubs his eyes. “I can’t fucking do it.”

“Neither can I.”

Slowly, I go to him, feeling as if there is no floor beneath my feet and each step toward Cole is a leap of faith.

He looks up at me and swallows hard. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know. The worst thing. The best thing. I can’t see it.”

Words fail me as he stands up, his smile beautiful in the dimness, and I still can’t bring myself to believe it’s because of me.

“You’re flush with the fruits of success,” I offer lamely.

Cole shakes his head. “I don’t give a shit about any of it.”

I arch a brow.

“Let me rephrase. It was a dream come true, I loved every fucking minute, but I’d give it all back if I could just kiss you.”

I fall back a step. “That’s not true.”

“Ambri…” His eyes shine, his voice hoarse. “This moment right here, with you? This is all I need.”

No. He’s lost in bliss, success, joy. He’s forgotten who—what—I am. I’ve forgotten I’m supposed to leave him. To give him up before I’m ruined by Asmodai. Or maybe Cole will ruin me. I don’t know which is more terrifying.

His hand comes up to hold my cheek. “You have to tell me it’s okay.”

“Yes,” I whisper, nearly undone by his consideration. “Yes, Cole. With you, it’s more than okay.”

His expression is one of relief and joy—different from any he’s worn all night. A joy that breaks my heart. Kindness tempered with heat. His other hand comes up to join the first, so he’s holding my face as if I’m something valuable. Something worth saving.

My heart is hammering in my ribs as if it wants to break free when Cole’s lips brush mine lightly. Then again, firmer but still soft. I have to close my eyes at the surge of want that wells in me. I’m suddenly fragile, I could shatter at the slightest wrong touch. I detest the feeling, but Cole’s fingers slide to the back of my head and sink into my hair as he pulls me closer, and I feel more whole than I ever have. I don’t kiss humans in an attempt to hold onto something that is just mine. Something that has not yet been taken from me. But Cole isn’t taking, he’s giving. His kiss is like a breath resuscitating me from a long airless sleep.

My mouth parts to allow him in, and his tongue finds mine. I can’t stop the groan that escapes at the taste of him. He releases a sound—the deepest relief—as if he’d been drowning until now too.

For a few moments, we do nothing but gently taste and touch, arms slowly wrapping around each other, pulling closer, kissing deeper. His mouth, his lips and tongue… Cole’s kiss is the best thing I’ve ever known. His desire simmers beneath, hot and potent, like a promise. We’re going to burn the entire world away until there’s nothing left but me and him.

Finally, he pulls back just enough to meet my eyes. “Now tonight is perfect.” His smile falters. “Unless…is this goodbye?”

I stare, confused.Goodbyemakes no sense. A nightmare worse than death.

“No. But Cole, we’re not free.I’mnot free. They might come for me.”

“They’ll have to get past me first.”

His words shock me, undo me with their possessive promise. It was I who thought to ruin him, and yet he’s trying to saveme.

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