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“That first journey collapsed my entire world,” Ambri said, his gaze distant. “My childhood burnt up in a few short—and agonizingly long—moments. Instantly, there was no one in the entire godforsaken world in whom I could trust.”
“Your parents…?” I asked helplessly.
“Raced to my rescue? Cursed my uncle for his deeds and threw him in the dungeon?” He shook his head against the pillow. “Hardly. The next fortnight, Uncle called again to take me to the city. I begged my parents not to allow it, but my pleas fell on deaf ears. They were angry at my insolence and called me an ungrateful little wretch. I was dragged kicking and screaming into Uncle’s carriage, the door locking behind me. The third time Uncle came calling, I hid in the garden. The fourth time, I climbed up into the attic and had to be hauled out by the Master-at-Arms.” The sharpness in Ambri’s tone fell away and his voice lowered to a near whisper. “The fifth time, I stopped fighting.”
My eyes fell shut, pain and rage gripping my heart in an iron fist. “Jesus, Ambri…”
“I didn’t tell my parents the truth until years later. Uncle assured me they’d never believe me and would send me away in either case. He was right. At thirteen, I finally mustered the courage to speak up. It took everything I had, but I did it.” Ambri’s voice tightened. “And my parents called me a liar.”
“Fucking hell…”
“They immediately packed me up and sent me to Europe with my inheritance. It was the last I saw of them. I ceased to be a member of the family and became a dirty little secret instead. And that’s what I felt. Dirty. Shameful. As if I’d done something wrong.”
I pulled him close.“No,”I said fiercely. “It wasn’t your fault. Do you hear me? It wasn’t your fault. They failed you. They all did.”
“Seems foolish to be emotional over it now, doesn’t it? It was a long time ago. And humanity is riddled with stories like mine, most much worse.”
“It’s what happened to you, and it matters,” I said against his shoulder. “It matters a lot.”
“Thank you, Cole.” He exhaled raggedly, melting against me. “I feel as if I’ve been waiting centuries for someone to tell me that.”
I held him tighter and then Ambri pulled away just enough so that we were face to face.
“You aren’t the only person I’ve ever told that to, but it feels as if you are,” he said. “I wonder how things might’ve been different if I’d spoken of it more. If I’d released the pain that was living inside me. I couldn’t escape it, so I had to become it. I decided that if something could be so easily taken from me, then the only way to survive would be to make it easy to give away.” He smiled wanly. “But kissing…that could be something that was just mine.Icould decide. A small measure of control.”
“Then I’m even more honored that you trusted me, but mostly, I’m sorry, Ambri. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“Don’t shed a tear for me, Cole,” he said, his gaze dropping. “I don’t deserve your sympathy. I’ve done terrible things.” He inhaled and let it out slow. “Since I’m in a confessional mood…there’s something else.”
“You can tell me anything.”
His brows furrowed and he searched my eyes. “No, another time. I’ve already spoiled your morning.”
“You haven’t spoiled anything.”
Ambri hesitated another moment, then lunged forward and kissed me, pushing me back and settling himself on top of me.
“It would appear I’m more selfish than I am honest.” His hips ground against me, his cock sliding against mine that grew hard almost instantly. “And I’m not ready to give you up just yet.”
Two days later, Lucy and Cas returned to New York. Ambri and I saw them off at Heathrow. Before they headed for security, Cas pulled me aside and pressed a piece of paper into my hand.
“My colleague says Jules Grayson is the man to know. You can email him at this address. He’ll help you if he can.”
“Great. Thanks, man,” I said, slipping the paper into my pocket before Ambri’s sharp eyes could see it.
Cas and I shook hands and then Lucy was throwing her arms around me.
“Take care. Be careful. Call me if anything happens. I don’t know what I can do, but…call me anyway. I need to know you’re okay.”
“I will. I promise.”
Ambri said his goodbyes to Cas and Lucy, and then he had his driver take us back to the flat.
“So,” he said from the plush backseat. “You and Casziel seem cozy. Think as thieves.”
“It’sthickas thieves and mind your own business.” He scowled and I laughed. “I fucking love it when you’re cranky. Almost as much as I love it when you butcher common idioms.”
He sniffed. “You try keeping up with hundreds of years of changing vernacular from the Other Side.”
