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“Mais, oui,” Daeva said. “Paintandplay. You must do both in a city like Paris.”
Her single eye found Pico in a kind of flirty commiseration. I wondered if they were a couple.
Eisheth returned, sweeping into the room like a queen or movie star. “Come, come, let’s leave Cole to prepare for the show tonight,” she told them, then turned to me. “We have planned a tremendous party for you, after.”
I waved my hands. “That’s not necessary…”
“But you must come, mon ami!” Pico said. “You celebrate your hard work, and we celebrateyou.”
“Thanks, but I’ll see how I’m feeling after the show and if Ambri is up for it.”
“Oh, you must bring him as well,” Daeva said. “Is he your boyfriend?Il est très, très beau, non? So very handsome.”
She turned her one blue eye to Pico who made a face.
“Yeah,” I said. “He’s my boyfriend.”
The thought made me warm all over. I’d never considered the wordboyfriendbefore, but what else could Ambri be?
How about the fucking love of my life?
That thought nearly knocked me off the arm of the couch, and my face heated to see them all watching me.
“Clearly he is special to you,” Eisheth said. “Your muse and your lover, both. Your paintings of him are sublime.”
“Indeed,” Zerin said with a smile. “Demons. I’ve never seen anything like them.”
They all laughed and exited the suite after making me promise to at least consider an after-party. When it was quiet again, I thought about working on my next collection but couldn’t concentrate.
Finally, I heard the key card in the door. I hurried from the studio to see Ambri, looking pale and nervous.
“Hey, Ambri. I’m sorry.”
“For what?” he asked dully. “What could you possibly have to be sorry for?”
“It seems like Paris is too much for you,” I said. “It was selfish of me to put you through that.”
I wrapped my arms around him, but it was like hugging a statue—one that didn’t hug back. I let him go. He was staring at me as if I were an alien life form.
“How are you so good to me?” he asked. “Whyare you so good to me?”
I swallowed hard. “Well…there’s a reason for that.” My heart was pounding, sending a rush of blood to my ears. I rubbed the back of my head suddenly feeling raw and scared shitless. But also ridiculously fucking happy. Happier than I’d ever been and probably ever would be.
I heaved a breath. “Ambri, I—”
His hand shot up and he took a step away. “Don’t say it.”
“Sorry?”
“Don’t say what you’re going to say.”
I smiled. “How do you know what I’m going to say?”
“Because every beautiful thought that crosses your heart emerges on your face before you speak it, and I can’t.” Ambri moved farther away. “I can’t and I…I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you.”
“Woah, woah, woah.” I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Hey. It’s okay,” I said gently. “I get it. It’s fucked up that we’re here, and we should leave. Tonight.Forget the show—”
“No,”he said, practically shouting. Then calmer, “No, you must have your show. Don’t mind me. I’m out of sorts, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.” He raised his eyes to mine and the blue-green was like a stormy sea. “Iwillhandle it. I have to.”
