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He continues to scowl, his jaw working but he says nothing.
With a sigh, I throw my hands up in frustration. “Well, if you can’t, then this whole thing is fucked up. Already. And it’s been, what, three days?” At least I still have that grace period.
“What’s fucked up?”
“This.” I gesture between us. “Me, you. This crazy arrangement. What was I thinking?”
His features soften, and he steps toward me. When he speaks, his voice is quiet but tension underlies it. “Madeline, don’t do this. Don’t give up on us.”
I almost scoff at that. Is there an us to give up on?
I glance down at my bare feet. “I don’t think this was such a good idea.”
I’d signed that damn thing in the heat of the moment, singularly overwhelmed by the desire to sleep with him. I hadn’t thought all this through like I should have...
He takes me by the shoulders, and I look up at him. For the first time, I see vulnerability in those blue eyes. He places his hands on my cheeks. I refuse to meet his gaze. He can’t break me down again. He does it too easily.
I open my mouth to continue, but he cuts me off.
“I won’t let you walk away, Madeline. I can’t.”
“I have a grace period,” I remind him. “It’s in writing.”
“Hold on just a moment, please? You’re just feeling stressed. About this, and about sitting your exam.” His thumb brushes across the line of my jaw. “I’ll be at XVerse on Friday. Why don’t I have Henry pick you up after your exam to celebrate? I’ll give you a tour.”
I finally meet his gaze, blinking at him. A personal tour of XVerse from the company’s CEO? Holy crap! Ever since I enrolled as an aero student, I’d been dying to get my foot into that place.
That offer is just too irresistible to pass up. “Um, okay. My exam is at three, and it’ll probably only take an hour.” Unless I fuck up. Then it will be over much sooner than that.
He flashes me a quick smile. “I’ll send Henry over to pick you up at four-thirty. Be ready.”
I nod. “And about Keith…” My words trail off. I’m not exactly sure what to say, except that Evan’s an ass for not letting me study with a friend who just happens to have a dick.
“I’d rather you not bring him here,” he says, his eyes almost unconsciously wander back toward the bed.
I push out a breath at the implication. “Fine. We can study at the library.”
His face is somber as he places a kiss on my forehead, but he pushes the subject no further. “I’ll see you on Friday.”
“I’m going to puke.” I clutch my midsection and breathe deeply, trying to stave off the nausea that has suddenly overtaken me. “I can’t do this.”
“Well, if you want to be in the PhD program, then you don’t have a choice,” Sam says. “You’ve got this, Maddy. You’ve been studying for weeks.”
I press my lips together and nod tightly. “Yeah, okay, you’re right. I’ve totally got this.”
With a squeeze of my hand, Sam shoves me in the direction of the conference room where my exam is taking place. When I walk in, the three professors on my committee are already sitting around the conference table, waiting for me.
Over the next hour, countless questions are thrown at me. By the end, I’m exhausted and ready to go home and fall into bed. Between studying for the exam and Kohl, I haven’t been sleeping well.
Professor Naveri closes his notebook and smiles. “Thank you, Miss Swanson, you will receive an answer by the end of next week.”
I thank the committee members and get the hell out of there, my heart still pounding. Thank God that’s over with. Waiting for their answer will be hell, but I feel good about how the exam went.
I glance at my phone. It’s just after four—Henry will be at the house soon to pick me up and take me to XVerse. I should call Evan and cancel. If I go, it will only prolong the inevitable. This can’t last. I was crazy to think I could do this and not develop feelings for him.
But the opportunity to visit XVerse is too tempting to resist. And it’s too late to cancel now, anyway. Henry is probably already on his way.
With a deep breath, I formulate a plan. Go to XVerse, have a nice afternoon, and tomorrow when I see Kohl, I’ll tell him I want out. Or maybe I’ll just tell Miriam. She seems to talk to him more often than I do anyway.
