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He pulls his hand from my pants slowly. And then I feel my eyes bug wide when he lifts them to his mouth.This doesn’t happen in real life.
But it does. Because he does exactly what I both hope and fear he’ll do. He lifts his hand to his mouth and puts one finger deep, sucking.
Oh. My. God.
He's suckingmefrom his finger.Why do I think that's hot?
I should think it’s gross. Right?
No, not even a little bit. I'm hot everywhere. “Umm,” I say again, watching as he cleans his second finger.The same way.
My belly clenches as he rumbles low, “Fucking perfect.”
His tone vibrates through me, hitting me everywhere. I want to feel more than just his fingers and his rumble inside me though. I realize, stunned, that I want to feelhiminside me. I have never wanted this with any other man. I have never felt this urge, this desire, this pulling, aching need.
But I feel it for him, for this scarred hurt man.
“I can't believe you did that,” I tell him, gesturing to his fingers. I don't know why I say that. I don't know why I bring it up at all. I should slide off the counter and run and hide from him. Really, I should.
But I'm stunned. I mean he just licked my orgasm from his fingers! He’s like a Christmas book boyfriend come alive.
“You taste good. Sweet.”
“Oh, boy.” I laugh nervously. Yeah, he has more experience than me. Definitely. I wonder if he knows and wonder if he senses that we're not equal here in this. He’s light-years beyond me.
“So,” I ask awkwardly, my eyes dropping to the bulge in his pants. “What are we supposed to do now?”
His brows pull together and he licks his lips, thinking. I want to know what he's thinking about.
“Sadie,” he says my name gruffly. “Whatever happens now is whatever you want to happen. I don't expect anything from you. I'll never demand anything from you. This goes only as far as you want it to go.” He pins me with his eyes. “Understand?”
I swallow and nod even though my throat is dry as hell as I whisper, “Understood.”
He runs his thumb over my bottom lip once, and then he steps back, palming the back of his neck. “I'm gonna grab a shower.”
“Yeah, sure. Okay. I'll clean up, here.”
I watch him walk away. His shoulders tight, his body everything I want to call back to me.
And I realize as I stand alone in his kitchen, that I am in way over my head. Lucy had no idea what she was doing when she sent me to her son. She has no idea what her son is capable of. He's going to destroy me.
And I'm not going to fight it.
I'm going to let him wreck me. Shatter me.
And because I know I’m going to fall hard for him, I just have to make sure that as I’m falling, I bring him down with me.
ChapterFourteen
Sadie
Nick spends the entire day in his office. I didn't see him for breakfast because I missed breakfast, seeing as I spent the entire night tossing and turning. Even though the bed really is comfortable, and the duvet really is heaven, I couldn't sleep. I tossed and I turned, and I tossed again, listening to the howl of the wind. It was violent, pulsing against the house as snow drummed against the windows. I'd want to find him. I’d wanted to go to him and be with him. Not sexually, just to be with him.
I just hadn't wanted to be alone.
But I couldn't bring myself to leave the room, either. So, I tossed, and I turned. I'm not sure what time I actually fell asleep. But it was very early morning.
Since arriving on Nick’s doorstep, my emotions have been all over the place. Emotionally, I've experienced more here than I have in the last year.
