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Her phone sounded, and she declined the call. It rang again.
“Someone’s keen,” I said.
“It’s Cary.” Her voice wavered, and the phone trembled as she lay it down.
I touched her hand. “What’s happened? From my window, I saw him leave, carrying a suitcase.”
“He forgot to tell me he’s still married.” She gulped back some water.
“But he told you he was divorced.” I gave her a sympathetic smile. Stung by guilt, I should have told her about the woman I’d seen in the car hugging Cary. “How did you find out?”
“Declan did a check on him.” She pulled a mock smile. “His interference riled me.” She knitted her fingers. “I suppose it’s better to know.”
Studying her closely, I recognized heartbreak because she appeared as shattered as I felt. I’d witnessed her vulnerability with Cary and how she’d changed. She had spent her life being cool and in control, but with him around, she was lighter, and her eyes looked brighter.
“Will he divorce her?” I asked.
“He says they’re like brother and sister. They don’t even sleep together.”
I nodded. “That’s something, I suppose. But why is he still with her?”
“She needs him. She’s threatened to kill herself if he leaves.”
“But he’s been here for two months. You’ve been inseparable.”
Her breath was jagged. “I know. He told her it was a project or something. I don’t know. It sounds complicated. Something I don’t need.” She looked at me and sighed. “Okay. Enough. It was nice. But he’s too weak to make that sacrifice for me. I’ll get over him.”
She rose. “Give me the scrip and I’ll take it to Janet.”
For a moment, I fumbled because I didn’t want my mother knowing it was for Xanax, and that I’d developed a habit. I needed something to help my brain fuzz out the crap filling in empty spaces. Spaces that should have been occupied by positive pursuits, like an arts degree or something more worthwhile than shopping and chasing my next thrill—some damaged soul who might make my skin tingle.
So far, Carson had been the only person to do that. And while I imagined his upbringing was tough, he was by far the most well-adjusted man I’d ever dated.
Despite our two months of steamy sex, we were never officially dating. No one knew about us.
I had to cajole him with dirty talk and saucy texts and images. It didn’t take much. He seemed to get hard from just my hand on his. Talk about virile. Talk about super sexy. But above all of that, he made me feel safe.
“Now that I think about it, I might go into the village,” I said.
“But you can barely walk, darling.” My mother’s concern made me want to cry again.
I need those drugs. Like now.
“It’s okay. I’ve got it.” I tried to crack a smile. It hurt to even do that. He also punched me in the face. Luckily, my nose wasn’t broken.
Fucking arsehole.
I hugged my mother. “I’m sure it will all work out for you.”
“By the way, I spoke to Jim, the caretaker. He’s expecting you at Lochridge. There haven’t been visitors for a while. I think I surprised him.”
“I was ten when I visited. Does anyone even go there?” I had memories of the manor that after Ethan had convinced me was haunted, I’d ended up sleeping with my parents.
I’d chosen Lochridge as my latest getaway because I needed space to heal away from people and distractions like shopping and flirting with foreigners abroad.
I was no longer the frivolous, flirty young woman I was before Bram. It was like he’d bludgeoned her out of me. Not worth potentially becoming barren and losing my mind over, however. A therapist would have been the healthier option to hooking up with a man with a sadistic streak.
Going away also meant I’d need a bodyguard, seeing that Bram was on bail and obsessed. “No” seemed to fuel him. He was one of those spoiled brats that wanted what he couldn’t have, even when at risk of being locked up for breaching a restraining order.
