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Instead of crawling into the back to hold her, I climb into the front seat of the car, starting it again in order to park it. Mika doesn’t say a word, but I do see the reddened whites of her eyes in the rearview mirror.
10
MIKA
It’s been two weeks since the attack in the parking garage, and I’ve had more than enough time to think about how it felt to see Dominik protect me in real time. Now he isn’t just a hypothetical bodyguard, he’s proven that he’ll fight to the teeth for me. How far would he go to keep me safe?
Being forced to keep all of my questions to myself has been torture. All I want is to truly understand why he’s so protective of me. Is it just because it’s his job? Or is it because of the way he looked at me when I was in the dressing room?
Even if I did ask him, he would probably deny that it was anything more than a responsibility, but I know better. Isaac never acted like Dominik. He’d been put into quite a few positions where he needed to keep me safe, but he never showed that level of fury for me. He was a trained fighter, and that’s all he chose to be.
Dominik knows things are different between us now, but he won’t acknowledge it at all. He’s tried to go back to the way things were before we almost fucked in the fitting room.
How can he pretend? Why would he?
It’s been confusing, to say the least, and I need to keep myself from getting hurt over it. It feels the way that kissing your ex would – you know the emotion is there, but they go back to business as usual while you ache for more.
I’ve been masturbating furiously to the thought of him shoving me against the wall and fucking me hard. Even though I’ve never had sex before, I imagine the way his dick would feel all the way inside of me as he cums. I’ve never seen his cock, but I’ve noticed the imprint of it when he adjusts his pants the way he always does when I’m around him. The outline looks pretty big, which makes me both excited and nervous.
I’m sitting in the living room, scrolling through an endless list of movies to watch that neither intrigue nor tempt me. I’ve been needing to get out of my head for a little while now, and escaping into a movie feels like the best way to accomplish that.
Until Dominik walks in.
“Hey, was there anywhere you needed to go today? I know you’ve got something important this week, but I wasn’t sure what day it was,” he says, leaning against the doorframe.
“Um, I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday, but otherwise I don’t have anything important going on,” I reply, pulling my legs up onto the couch and under my blanket.
We’re both quiet for a moment, and it’s apparent that both of us have something we need to get off our chests. But I know Dominik by now, and he always wins at the game of stoicism even if it hurts.
“What, no sarcastic remarks today?”
My stomach drops. “I’m just not in that kind of mood today, I guess,” I reply sheepishly. He’s catching on to the fact that I’m letting my guard down. I want to trust that he won’t misuse my trust, but there’s so much he could gain from doing so.
“It’s just that I’ve noticed you’ve been a lot quieter the last few weeks. That’s all,” he continues, entering the living room and sitting on the chair next to me.
“I think we need to talk about what happened,” I say, feeling my chest getting tighter as I smell his cologne.
He sighs deeply, staring straight at the TV and refusing to look at me at all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Even though I can already tell that this conversation is going to go nowhere, I feel compelled to persist. “You know what I’m talking about. Back at the mall, in the fitting room, in the parking garage…”
“Donotmention the fitting room. Ever again. Do you understand?”
He shoots a glare at me, staring daggers into my soul as I gather the nerve to keep going.
“Okay, then we can talk about what happened at the parking garage. Is that fair?” I reply, taking a deep breath to brace myself for the hostility that I’m sensing from him.
He scoffs. “Well, there was an attack, and I killed some Italians. There’s nothing more to discuss.”
I want to scream. My father is nowhere near us. He isn’t even home. Why won’t Dominik talk to me? He’s supposed to be the older, more mature one in this equation.
“Dominik, we need to talk about what happened.”
“God, what the fuck do you want from me? Huh? What do you want?” he growls, turning his whole body to look at me straight on. He’s trying to intimidate me, but I can’t let that stop me.
“I want you to tell me why you were so protective of me! Before that day, you didn’t even like me!” I shout, allowing my emotions to get the better of me.
“Are you fucking serious? Please tell me you’re not serious. Protecting you is literally why I’m here, Mika. God knows I’ve already done a shit job of it the first day we left the house, and now we’re both paying for it,” he replies with tension and agitation in his voice.
