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There are aspects of my ego that I didn’t even know existed that are being eviscerated by this exchange. I’ve never felt like more of a cuck in my life. Watching someone like Izet – a skinny, unwashed rodent of a human – take a woman from me feels like the biggest failure of my life. The decision had nothing to do with me, and I even tried to prevent it with what little input I had, but I still feel responsible.
Mika glances up at me, waiting desperately for me to come to her aid and beat the shit out of every man in the room.
When I don’t look back at her, I feel her gaze fall to the floor with disappointment.
I stare at the wall, removing myself from the situation as much as I can before I let my emotions take over.
“You will be prepared for the wedding on the sixteenth, yeah?” Amar asks Mika, interjecting once again. It’s becoming clearer by the minute that Izet is hardly more than a pawn for his father’s whims, and he’s taken on this role with pride.
“Yes, I will,” Mika replies reluctantly.
“Yes,what?”Amar asks with a sickening grin.
She looks at me again, and I want to scream in their faces to leave her the fuck alone. At the very least, they could stop taunting her.
But all I can do is remain neutral.
I’m just a fixture here, a piece of furniture.
“Yes,sir,”she responds, nearly gagging on the wordsir.
Izet rises from his chair, and I’m prepared to skin him alive if he even comes close to touching her. When I remember that touching her has become his right by her father’s own hand, I feel more helpless than ever. I can’t imagine how she feels.
He walks over to her, standing only inches from her as he towers overhead. He has a clear height advantage, and I’m worried that he’ll still be able to overpower her despite his lack of muscle.
“Her breasts are a little small. I thought they’d be bigger in person. I guess they’ll get bigger when she’s pregnant, but if they don’t, I’m sure silicone would be fine,” he says as he glares down at her chest.
For the first time since we arrived, I look down at her. She’s got tears forming in her eyes, and I know immediately that she’s never felt more defeated in her life.
Whenever she wanted something or disliked the way things operated, she could unleash a violent storm on everyone who stood in her way. Now, all of her autonomy has been stolen out from under her.
“Okay, I trust that everything will be in order for the sixteenth. I’ll be reaching out to Remi to confirm,” Amar says as he lights a cigarette.
I nod again, taking Mika’s hand and leading her out of the room.
As soon as her back is turned, she begins to cry. She’s holding back heavy sobs, almost to the point that she can’t breathe. All she wants is the chance to release her frustration, but she still has to keep it together in order to not embarrass Remi.
At this point, my resentment towards Remi is in full effect. I’m watching a beautiful, vibrant girl be forced into a life of servitude and second-class citizenship because he wants to secure a business deal. When I put it into perspective without any context, the whole thing feels even more absurd.
Slava starts the car, and Mika covers her face as she climbs into the back. She’s not able to conceal the sound of her cries, and her makeup has run down her face onto her dress.
The ride home is somber, like a funeral procession. Nobody knows what to say. All we hear is the sound of Mika’s cries, and I doubt she’ll stop any time soon.
With everything hanging in the balance, I feel that it’s time for me to really consider how much loyalty I can have to a man who would do this. I’m going to save Mika from this fate, even if I die trying.
15
MIKA
I’ve spent the last few days in my room crying so hard that I could throw up. Every morning, I wake up from my dreams bleary eyed and confused until the reality hits me again. Those few seconds of bliss are what I live for now, at least until I’m forced to sleep next tohim.
Having nobody to talk to about this situation has had me pacing around the house like a tiger that has gone insane from being locked up. I can’t talk to Dominik about it, as much as I wish I could. It would just be too painful to try to seek comfort from him, knowing that he’ll be out of my life for good.
The only person I’m willing to discuss this with is my mother, who has been a regular patient at Bayshore Psych since I was sixteen. She’d been struggling with addiction to benzos, and I always blamed her for never being there when I needed her. Now that I’m in the same position as she was, I understand better than ever.
I don’t want to start doing drugs to ease my pain, but I’m significantly more empathetic to those who do.
After speaking with my mother on the phone for a few minutes before bed last night, I’ve decided to go visit her today in person. I don’t want Dominik there, but I know I can’t leave him behind. I’m more of a flight risk now than I ever was.
