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The thought sends chills down my spine. Up until yesterday, I hadn’t ever planned on seeing Holly again because I thought her involvement with me would get her hurt or killed. It looks like it could have anyway, and the only reason it won’t is because Ididcome back.

My only choice is to apprehend Vadik as soon as possible while causing minimal noise. Holly’s neighborhood is pretty spread out, but I doubt the sound of a gunfight would go unnoticed. With the wrong people involved, Vadik and I would both be connected to the bratva, and my life would be over.

This is the price I pay for the wealth I’ve acquired.

I’m grateful, but it’s bullshit like this that makes me sometimes wish I had just been a lawyer.

He continues around the side of the house, and fortunately, I can’t see any other points of entry from the inside. I likely have enough time to catch him and subdue him, but I can’t use a gun. I need something quieter.

I wish I would be able to use something like a garrote, creating minimal bloodshed and leaving less of a mess for me to clean up after. Knowing I’ll have to kill him in the snow is going to be a challenge.

Watching him closely from the windows in the living room, I step into the kitchen and grab the biggest knife I can find in the butcher block near the sink. I hate using knives to fight, and especially to kill, but tonight I have no choice.

Once I’ve secured the knife, I walk back over to the front door and ease it open with as little resistance as possible. I’m tempted to leave it open just to further reduce the amount of noise created, but if he comes back around the front for some reason, Holly’s blood would be on my hands.

The night is cold and unforgiving as I step out onto the front porch. Vadik’s footsteps are easy to follow in the snow, and the moon is just bright enough to give visibility without giving away my location. As long as Vadik doesn’t know I’m here, I have an advantage over him.

Just before I’m able to stab him in the left kidney, he hears me and turns around. He’s shocked that I’m here, and he lunges at me in an attempt to grab the knife from out of my hand. It’s a bold move, that’s for sure, but I’ve been under the impression that he’s been snorting amphetamines for a while. It makes more sense than ever now.

His movements are quick, but uncoordinated and jerky. I’m certain his pupils would be the size of olives if I could see them.

When I swipe the knife out of his reach, he gets frustrated and tries to ram into me like an angry bull. It’s as if he’s begging me to kill him at this point.

I stab right underneath his rib cage into his lungs, just like my father taught me.Always stab upward, not downward. You want to puncture the organs, not the bones.

He goes down immediately from the shock of the pain, but he isn’t ready to give up.

He’s still surprisingly motivated to kill me even as his lungs fill with blood, but this ambition fades just as quickly as the light in his eyes, as he begins to gurgle and choke. I’ve seen men die from stab wounds to the lungs, but the noise he makes as the deluge of fluid rises out of his throat is haunting. He’s angry, and maybe feeling a sense of betrayal, but I did what I had to do. The second someone threatens someone I care about, they have to die. I don’t have mercy for people who try to kill the innocent just to even the playing field.

It takes him a minute to die, but when I’m positive that he’s at least too weak to fight back, I search him to see what kind of weapon he was planning on using on Holly. It’s not long before I discover a ten-inch serrated hunting knife tucking into a strap on his left leg. I had seen him use this knife many times for various reasons, and it always struck me just how vicious it looked. I knew just from looking at it that he chose it for that purpose alone. He loves to intimidate people, and having a huge black knife is an easy way to do it. I suspect that he used it in front of people as a warning, even if it was just to cut open a package.

I study the knife for a moment, horrified at the myriad of possibilities of pain that this knife could have brought Holly. If I hadn’t been here to deliver that wallet, she could be suffering to an inhuman capacity right now. He definitely wouldn’t have killed her right away – that would be too easy and would give me more motivation to killhimthan to negotiate.

The thought makes me want to vomit, but I remind myself that I just need to be grateful that I was able to save her. I can’t focus on the worst case, because I’ll go insane if I allow such thoughts to consume me. In the bratva life, the possibilities of things going horribly are just as high as things going well. I’d have a stroke from worrying if I gave it more than the least possible amount of thought. That’s what makes me good at my job.

The next thing I have to do is obviously dispose of the body, but the only thing I can do is shove him into the trunk of my SUV and form a better plan in the morning. Even if Vadik is dead, there’s no telling whether he was going to call in reinforcements or if he had been checking in with someone back at his base.

I drag him all the way back to the front of the house, leaving a bright red trail of blood that’s visible even in the dim light of the moon. Given the weight of his muscles, it takes me multiple attempts to toss him into the back of the SUV. I’m sweating by the time I’m done, and I’m not looking forward to telling Holly, but I can deal with all that in the morning.

I’m shaking as I enter the house. The stillness of Holly’s quiet little life is so stark in comparison to the brutality of mine. My presence in her life could be the biggest danger that she’s ever encountered, and now it’s my responsibility to protect her to the best of my ability.

When I re-enter the bedroom, she’s still sleeping as if nothing had ever happened. She’s undisturbed and peaceful, still lying in the same position that she had been when I left. At least I still have the chance to tell her what happened. I had feared that she would have heard me killing him, scared and alone in her bed, wondering where the hell I was and what I was doing.

I sneak out of the room and head down to the bathroom off the living area. I’m covered in blood, and I’d hate to fuck up Holly’s bed and carpet. The fact that the blood came from someone who intended to kill her makes the contrast even more macabre, and I couldn’t put her through that.

My coat took the majority of the bloodshed, so I wash my hands, neck, and face thoroughly. I stop for a moment to stare at myself for a second to wonder if I could be the worst thing that ever happened to her.

Who else could want to hurt her if they know she’s close to me? Am I being selfish by wanting her in my life? I haven’t dated for so long because I couldn’t find anyone I liked, but now I’m wondering if I’m just too dangerous for a woman to be around.

I dry myself off and walk quietly back into the bedroom, climbing into bed with her as I try not to disturb her. When she feels me pull her closer, she turns over without a word and nestles her face into my chest. I could sleep like this for the rest of my life, and I might have no other choice if I want to do the right thing.

16

Holly

It’s a bit later in the day than I usually wake up, and I’m surprised to see that Saint is still here. Even though we had sex again, I was expecting him to sneak out after I’d fallen asleep like other guys have done. I wanted to believe that he was better than that, and I guess now I have my proof that he is.

I didn’t want to doubt him, but my better judgment has been scratching at the back of my brain about how dangerous his lifestyle is. Even if he’s a perfectly sweet person, he still makes his living by killing people, both directly and indirectly. I’m not sure if I can reconcile that.

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