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His insistence and stubbornness wins again, and I relent to his orders. We walk over to the other side of the platform to wait for the train, and I can only hope that I’ve been mistaken somehow. Even though I can speak fluent Japanese, I still hate the idea of getting lost by taking the wrong train. I’d rather just sit on the sidelines with a book, casually glancing up to watch the scenery change periodically. Now, I’ll have to spend the entire ride making sure that we’re not going the wrong direction.
When the train comes, the inevitable push of the crowd forces us on before I even have a chance to fit in one last protest. We’re shoved to the back as soon as the door close, and I’m braced against the wall uncomfortably as Aleksander presses into me.
As soon as the train leaves, I realize that we are, in fact, moving in the wrong direction.
“Damn it, this train is going the wrong way!” I whisper aggressively. “Why couldn’t you have just believed me before?!”
He rolls his eyes at me, gesturing up at the LED sign as a slurry of words flow across it. “Okay, fine, then tell me what that’s supposed to say?”
I read the sign, and it indeed lists the name of a city in the opposite direction of the city we’re supposed to be traveling to.
“Yeah, that confirms it. We’re on the wrong train,” I say feeling a sudden wave of fatigue and helplessness as I realize the uphill battle I’ve enlisted myself in with his man.
“Okay, we’ll just get off at the next stop. But once we’re there, you need to listen to me whenever we’re talking about signs. I can read Japanese, you can’t,” I insist. “I’m not going to get stranded in the wrong city for the whole day.”
Aleksander is clearly irritated with me for being so pushy about my superior language skills, but we could have ended up dead in the streets without them. I’m starting to feel like nothing that he said is going to end up mattering if he can’t respect when I’m correct about something. It’s a terrible quality to have in the man you love, and now I’m starting to see it for what it really means.
“Jesus, okay, fine,” he whispers under his breath.
The rest of the train passengers are silent, all of them keeping to themselves or nestled in a book as the train moves. I’m growing embarrassed at Aleksander’s vintage American tourist behavior, and I don’t know how to tell him to tone it down without causing an even bigger problem than before. I feel trapped with him right now, and that puts a sick feeling in my stomach like no other.
We ride in silence for fifteen minutes before we’re stopped at another platform. I’m just a little too eager to get off the train, gripping Aleksander’s hand and pulling him behind me right before the train begins to move again.
“Hey, don’t fucking jerk me around like that,” he whines. “I’m an adult, you don’t need to drag me all over the place like I’m a little kid.”
“You’re moving too slow! We’re going to miss our next train, which looks like it’s supposed to be here in... five minutes. Damn it, we have to move faster,” I reply, feeling my reasoning skills begin to dissolve as the stress takes over.
Just as I’m about to scream from being overwhelmed, a guy no older than twenty-one accidentally bumps into me as we’re speed-walking toward the other end of the platform.
I already know what’s going to happen before I even see his face, but as soon as I look at Aleksander, I can see that he’s fuming.
“Hey! You get the fuck back here!” he shouts at the poor kid, who clearly doesn’t speak English and already feels bad for bumping into me.
“Aleksander! Leave him alone!” I whisper through my teeth, my face hot with embarrassment as the blood drains from my skin. I haven’t felt this particular brand of awkwardness since Cody got drunk at my grandmother’s eightieth birthday and threw up all over my shoes on the dance floor.
“No, he can’t just fucking walk into my pregnant girlfriend and expect me not to say something. Hey, get over here you little shit!” he shouts as he continues toward the terrified man.
“He probably can’t even understand you! You’re just scaring him!” I say with my full voice, realizing that I’m embarrassing Aleksander as much as myself at this point. Fuck it, it’s not like he gives a shit about how we look to other people. I might as well make it just as bad for him.
He eventually catches up with him, grabbing him by both shoulders and punching him in the face. I scream, covering my mouth in horror as my eyes grow wide.
The man falls to the ground without a fight, cupping his nose as blood pours down the front of his grey sweatshirt. I feel terrible, apologizing to him profusely as Aleksander continues posturing as a protector.
So far, he’s been nothing but a bully.
The man accepts my apology, but by the time he’s able to answer me at all, the police are already making their way up the platform toward us.
“Goddamn it,” growls Aleksander.
I want to smack him across the face, once for hitting the man in the first place, and again for assuming that such a stupid act wouldn’t have consequences. I can’t believe that this is the way he’s going to try to save this situation – by pretending to be a hero where one wasn’t needed.
I’m forced to take on the roll of interpreter, and all I want to do is run away. I’m so embarrassed for myself, for allowing myself to get pregnant with Aleksander’s baby and for believing that he would ever be able to change. All of those promises about trying to be better were nothing but bullshit. He’s going to be the same crooked, angry man he was when I met him, and I can’t believe I let him convince me otherwise.
By some miracle, the police let us go without much questioning. I’m under the impression that the young man didn’t want anymore trouble and found Aleksander to be intimidating enough already. I apologize to him one last time before he leaves to find medical attention, watching his nose continue dripping blood relentlessly.
“Fuck, whatever. You can’t get mad at me for defending you like that. Do you want me to be some kind of pussy? Just letting people walk into you like that? What if he was trying to touch you or something?” Aleksander deflects as we approach the board on the wall with all the departure times.
I want to scream in his face at the top of my lungs.Why are you behaving like a fucking middle school degenerate right now? How could you possibly still be so immature after raising six kids on your own?!
