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I’ve never done that before.
It was yet another one of his rules. The nights of pleasure he’d had with women had always ended after the pleasure was done. If the women came here, he ensured they were escorted home, and if he had attended a woman’s house, then he took pains to leave in a rush.
He’d never known this sensation before of purely wanting to enter a lady’s chamber to sleep beside her. He supposed there was something in what had passed between them that day. The confession of jealousy was an open window, and he hoped she would offer some amount of comfort in the darkness as he tried to sleep.
He was about to enter when he caught sight of the end of the corridor. There was an empty space where a painting used to hang. Once, there was a portrait of his father there, but he’d taken it down long ago, not wanting to be reminded of the man.
I will not be like him. I cannot give into urges, or I might end up like him someday.
He’d made the vow long ago never to become his father.
Slowly, James stepped back from Marina’s doorway, his hand falling limp and loose, away from her door handle. Turning his back on her bedchamber door, he retreated to his own bedchamber and hastened inside. He was so caught up in thoughts of her and the anger he felt at his own rules, he fell back on the bed fully clothed and fell asleep without even taking off his shoes.
* * *
“Our first evening out as husband and wife. Now, that is something, I’d say.” Marina hurried down the staircase, her manner excited. James smiled a little to see her so excited. There was a blush on her cheeks and a smile she couldn’t restrain. “I have not seen Caroline for well over a week now, or has it been two?”
As she reached the floor, she looked around at him, looking for his confirmation.
“So lost in my company you can’t remember how long we have been married?” he teased her. She moved toward him as if she would kiss him. He burned, wanting that touch, then Mr. Pitt-Rivers stepped into the hall, and they moved apart from each other. “It’s been ten days.”
“That it has.” She smiled as she moved to the mirror, checking her appearance. She fussed with the cinnamon-colored curls that hung down beside her cheeks though he didn’t know why. He was rather fond of their wild look.
When she attempted to repeatedly curl one of the strands around her finger, trying to get it to behave, James stepped forward. He checked the butler was out of the front door, ensuring the carriage was ready, before he took the strand out of her hand and let it lay flat. Marina stared at him, wide-eyed.
“There’s something to be said about the wild locks,” he said slowly.
“Was that another compliment?” she teased. They laughed together though neither of them said anything more.
As the butler announced the carriage was ready, Marina stepped toward the door, clad in her silver gown and gold pelisse. He didn’t follow though, and at his hesitation, she paused in the doorway, looking back at him.
“Is something wrong?” she asked slowly. James felt a longing to tell her why he could not summon the same excitement that she had for such an event. To his surprise, the butler clearly sensed a need for them to be alone, for Mr. Pitt-Rivers made himself scarce. “What is it?” Marina asked, moving back to James’ side.
“I cannot help being apprehensive of events like this,” he said, his voice deep and low. Feeling strangely vulnerable, he looked away from her into the hall mirror where he fussed with his jacket, making sure it lay flat. “My brother… he…”
“What about your brother?” Her tone was soft, gentle.
“I am not sure he’ll be glad to see me there.” The moment the words were beyond his lips, he felt a release of tension, and his shoulders slumped a little. Marina somehow sidled between him and the mirror, capturing his attention. She reached up and took the lapels of his tailcoat out of his hands, smoothing them flat for him. Her hands on his chest made a spiral of pleasure leap within his gut, remembering what they had already shared together and longing for more.
“You are his brother; why would he not be pleased to see you?” she asked, her voice still soft.
“Because of my choices. The gambling hall…” James sighed deeply before the whole tale escaped him in a rush as he looked down at how she flattened his lapels. “My father left the dukedom in considerable debt. He was a gambling man, and he wrote to me a year or so before he died explaining the situation. Despite his confession, he made no effort to curb his ways. None!”
His voice was venomous in its anger. “By the time he died, I was on the brink of being put in debtors’ prison for his actions.” To Marina’s credit, she didn’t gasp or respond, she just continued with that touch to his chest. It made him take a very small step closer to her. “I vowed that day to get our family out of trouble.”
“That is why you opened the gambling hall?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “Michael needed money too, so he came on board a short while later. My brother, though… he could never understand why I had done it.” James shook his head, laughing though it was without humor. “He’s a man who likes to stick his head in the sand and pretend a problem is not real, much like our father before him. He was convinced that I could have recovered the fortune another way.”
He paused, meeting Marina’s gaze at last. Her lips were parted as she listened in a little wonder. “He cared more about our position in society and what the rumors would say of a duke who owned a gambling hall. He has never truly understood how close to ruin we became.” He sighed, unable to stop the sound escaping him. “Now, after my latest scandal…” he paused, watching as she bit her lip, “I fear he will hate me even more.”
“He’s your brother; can he really hate you?” she asked.
“I fear he can.” James could still remember the look of fury in his brother’s eyes the night he had been caught in that chamber with Marina.
“Then you should not think of him when you go to these events.”
“I beg your pardon?” James snapped his head upward, startled by Marina’s words and the sudden smile on her lips.
