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How often have I heard his name whispered amongst those who talk of rakes? How many times have I read his name in scandal sheets where the writers have taken a guess at what lady has caught his eye this week? What if I am just one of many now?
How easily he left her body had her pulling at the skirt as she stood, hiding her body completely. It was just possible that whatever the moment had meant to her, it had meant very little to him.
He was pulling on his shirt, tucking it into his trousers, when he rounded the bed.
“Let’s go home,” he said, caressing her arm with the softest of touches. She felt a pleasant shiver up her spine at that touch.
“What of the hall? I thought you had to be here?”
“Not anymore tonight. Michael can take care of it for the rest of the night.” He pulled his waistcoat on next. “I will just go talk to him and let him know we are going. I’ll meet you by the back door. Don’t go out without me.”
“James…” She levelled a glare at him. “I am perfectly safe.”
“After what happened this evening, forgive me if I doubt it a little.” He kissed her on the forehead and left the room all too abruptly for her liking. She would have been glad of one last embrace or any single brief touch.
Gathering herself, she left the chamber, trying to flatten out the bed a little as she blew out the candles. Descending the stairs, she made her way to the back door where James joined her shortly later, offering her pelisse.
The whole ride home in the carriage, they barely said a word to one another. Marina found she was scared to speak, worried that when her lips parted, words she was afraid to ask would come out.
Do you still have lovers? Do you intend to keep them?
The one thing she took comfort in was his hand on her own. He kept playing with it, toying their fingers together in the darkness of the coach, only stopping when they pulled up on their drive.
James stepped down first and helped her next. They approached the house and stepped inside where Mr. Pitt-Rivers wished them a good night before he retired for the night.
Marina moved to the stairs when her feet grew still on the bottom step.
“Is something wrong?” James called to her from the entrance where he was hanging up his frock coat.
“I was wondering…” She swallowed, rather nervously, though she held her head high in the hope that he would not notice those nerves. “Perhaps you could join me in my chamber tonight – to sleep.”
“Ah.” He looked away from her, his manner suddenly frantic, before he fidgeted with his cravat.
“Let me guess,” she sighed, “it is one of your rules, never to sleep beside a lady?”
He turned to face her; his franticness abruptly ended.
“Damn the rules,” he muttered, walking toward her. “Let us go to your chamber.” He placed a hand to the small of her back and followed her up the stairs with that gentle touch.
She didn’t ask him what had changed his mind, for she was simply glad he had. In her chamber, neither of them called for the lady’s maid or the valet. They both undressed until Marina was only wearing her chemise, and James was just in his trousers then they moved into the bed, beneath the covers.
Marina blew out the candle beside her before shifting toward James, resting her head on his shoulder and nestling into the crook of his body. At first, he seemed rather stiff then his body relaxed. His arm came up around her waist, and his head moved toward her, brushing her forehead with the smallest of kisses.
I like this.
She almost said the words aloud but managed to keep them to herself, worried that talking of it might make James scarper. After all, he’d seemed nervous and reluctant when she had first asked him to come to bed.
As her eyes closed, and she heard his breathing deepen, showing he was drifting into sleep, Marina understood why she had wanted him to come to bed with her. It had nothing to do with wanting to feel safe after the threat of the man in the gambling hall, nor was it because of the threat in the letter. She had simply been loathed to part from James’ company. It stretched deep within her, the affection she had for him growing until it was all encompassing.
Oh, so this is what it feels like to fall in love.
* * *
“Stay safe today.”
“James? How many times have you told me that?” Marina laughed as she stood in the sitting room, watching as James prepared to leave. Standing in the doorway, the butler had already offered him his frock coat and hat. He shrugged them on, his eyes never leaving her own. “You send men to follow me everywhere I go, regardless.”
“I know.” James sighed with the words.
