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“You know I will always be there for you, whatever it is you wish to do, My Lady,” Susannah smiled, and Lydia felt overwhelmed to have someone by her side in her adventures. After all, going through them alone would not be even half the fun, and it might even be dangerous as well.
That night, like all those nights before, Lydia and Susannah snuck out of the house, making sure that no one noticed their departure. They could never use their own carriage for these purposes. Lydia could not trust one of their footmen with this secret. She was already forced to place her trust in Susannah. That was one person, but more than one would mean that a secret was not as safe. Lydia would worry that one of them might mention something unintentionally to her father, who would probably have a heart attack to learn what his eldest daughter had been up to behind his back! Lydia generously wanted to save him from the burden of that knowledge.
At first, Susannah felt uneasy about all this, but slowly, she learned to enjoy it as well. Lydia felt unrestrained. She could converse with people. She could laugh with them. She could dance to her heart’s content, and no one would be any the wiser.
Upon entering the tavern, Lydia was washed over with the rowdy sounds of song and merry laughter. Everywhere she looked, she could not recognize a single face. It made her even more comfortable. She ordered two drinks for them and immediately started to dance. A few men were giving her interested glances, but she was never afraid when she was in a tavern. Lydia had learned not to return those gazes, and it quickly proved to the men that she was not interested in them but rather in dancing and having fun.
However, sometimes it happened that there was someone who did not understand such subtle hints, and Lydia had to be more vocal about it. When a man approached her while she was dancing, she smiled back politely but tried not to engage in either dancing or conversing with him. However, he was resolute to exchange a few words with her. He leaned closer to her, and she could smell beer on him.
“Oy, luv,” she heard him say, drawling out the words. “Fancy a dance wif me?”
“Thank you,” she smiled, trying not to get too close to him as he had already tried to put his arms around her. “I’m here with my friend, and I wouldn’t want to lose sight of her.” That was the first thing that popped to mind. She could not very well refuse him outright. It would be rude. It might also be dangerous. She did not know what sort of a man he was. It was best to always deny people’s wishes in the gentlest manner possible.
“I can ‘andle two of yah,” he told her with a lewd look in his eyes, after which he laughed loudly.
Just when she was about to tell him that she was not interested, another woman came up and pulled the man by the arm.
“Come nah, Tim, leave the girls alone, will ya?” The lady gave Lydia an understanding look, and Lydia smiled.
“I was just…” the man started, but the woman, who was obviously his sister or perhaps a good friend but not his wife, kept pulling him away good-humoredly, telling him it was not nice to accost young ladies in such a manner.
Lydia sighed with relief, already thinking that such a situation could have escalated into something she would be unable to control. Such a possibility was always present, and she was well aware of that. After all, she and Susannah were two young ladies out on their own without any gentlemen to keep them safe.
At the same time, this was what she wanted, to be away from anyone who might be enshrouding her with protection. She could handle herself, and she could protect herself well enough. Truth be told, she still hadn’t found herself in such a situation, but something told her that she would be able to handle herself just fine.
She continued dancing, minding her drink and just having fun with Susannah. She was a nobody here. She was just another nameless face in a crowd, acting exactly how she wanted to act. There was no right or wrong. There were no demands that chained her to act in a certain way. She could be who she truly was. She could express her curiosity about the world around her and about the people in it and everything that ever interested her.
No one in her family understood this need of hers. She knew if they ever found out, they would be shocked. Even worse, they would be disappointed in her. Flabbergasted, even, that she would want to experience something like that. Lydia knew that no matter how hard she tried to explain it, she would never be able to make them see things the way she saw them. So, it was best to keep this side of herself a secret. As for Susannah, Lydia was certain that the sweet girl would not tell a soul about their occasional nightly wanderings. In addition to that, she was well compensated for them which was another incentive to keep quiet about them.
Lydia had no idea how long they were there as one hour blended into the next. Suddenly, Susannah pulled her by the hand and leaned to whisper something in her ear.
“Isn’t that Philip?” Susannah pointed at a man in the corner of the tavern who was too busy chatting with his friends to notice them.
Lydia looked in that direction. It took her eyes a little while to focus her gaze then she truly did recognize one of the footmen employed in her home. He had distinctively wide lips which revealed almost all of his teeth not only when he smiled but also when he spoke, so recognizing him was no difficult feat.
Lydia knew that it was imperative they were not seen. Although she was dressed differently, and her hair was done unlike she usually did it, she was not disguised in the sense that her face was any different. He would surely recognize her if he came up to her closely. She could not allow that to happen. She needed this secret. She needed this one thing that was solely hers, that brought her so much relief and comfort.
“We need to leave, now,” she told Susannah as fear gripped her. The longer they stayed there, the more likely it was that Philip would look in their direction and see them. If not her, he would recognize Susannah and surely approach her to greet her.
The two women held hands, searching for another way out which they found after asking for it. They stumbled out into the dark night, and for a moment, Lydia could not tell whether they were supposed to go left or right to get back to the main road. She pulled Susannah left and, mistakenly, ended up in an even darker alley. The moment they stepped into it, Lydia saw a group of four men, huddling in a corner, talking in a hushed manner.
She swallowed heavily, gripping Susannah’s hand. A lady alone in an alley at night was not safe, especially if there was a group of men involved. Their best option was to slowly back up the way they came from, but instantly, one of the men turned to face them. The moment he saw them, his face lit up. Then, the eyes of others fell upon them, and the two girls froze in place. Lydia could not remember the last time she was this frightened. Susannah squeezed her hand tightly.
If they ran back, they might make it. Those were the first thoughts that rushed through Lydia’s mind. It would take them only a few seconds. The men would not catch up with them that quickly.
But something forced her to remain where she was. That man. She had seen him somewhere before. But… where?
“Wait…” that same man spoke to her, pointing his index finger at her. “I know you!”
Lydia’s heart sank all the way down to her heels. It seemed that the feeling was more than mutual.
