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"Shh!" Leah pressed her finger to her lips, in an effort to quiet her friend, who seemed ecstatic with this news. "I do not... I just... think he isn't as bad as I believed him to be."
"Well, that is exactly what I said," Alicia chuckled. "You like him."
"I am keeping an open mind, as per your and my mother's usual advice," Leah corrected her friend. "He is not what you'd expect him to be."
"I am very glad to hear that," Alicia said, sounding more genuine and honest than ever. "You know that I always wanted you to experience marital bliss."
"Well, I highly doubt that is possible, my dear friend," Leah said, with a slight pang of regret in her voice. Leah knew that she could not expect that sort of felicity. For her, marital bliss was not staying at home and knitting. It was simply not who she was. Her mind craved adventure. She wanted to constantly discover new things about the world. A long time ago, she was bitten by the adventure bug, and now, there was no turning back. She had endeavored to keep this desire under control, because she could see how much anguish it was giving her father, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not suffocate the desires of her own heart. They would always eventually find a way to come to the surface.
"I am certain that you and the duke will find your way to each other eventually," Alicia said. "I mean, you are already closer than you've been a week ago. Imagine what might happen over the course of several months!"
Leah imagined it instantly. While it was true that Edward had opened himself up to her a little, he was still guarding his own heart and mind fervently, like a wild animal afraid of a human touch. She could understand him. She could also understand his initial accusation, that she herself had orchestrated this whole affair. Fortunately, they ceased the accusations, and realized that something strange was going on, something they needed to get to the bottom of... together.
Together.That was the part that was confusing her even more than the lack of knowledge regarding how she ended up in his chamber in the middle of the night. They were together now. They were husband and wife now. But not in the real sense of the word. She wondered if they would ever reach that level of closeness.
She wondered if she even wanted them to.Yes...a treacherous little voice whispered right into her ear. She knew it was right. She was titillated by the idea of them getting closer. Sometimes, when he wasn't paying attention, she would look at him closely, examining the lines of his face, his square jaw, his dark curls. He was a strikingly handsome man. She could not deny that. He had a sort of ferocity about him, but at the same time, he spoke so calmly and in such a composed manner that she could not imagine him even shouting, let alone doing something aggressive.
"Leah?" She heard Alicia's voice call out to her.
"Sorry," Leah smiled. "I got lost for a moment."
"I could tell," Alicia chuckled. "Were you thinking about the duke?"
Leah wanted to shake her head, but quickly decided against it. She wanted to be honest about everything with her friend.
"Yes," she admitted, and her cheeks blushed softly.
"It is all right to be enamored by your husband, dear Leah," Alicia leaned forward and took her friend's hands into her own, caressing them gently. "Something tells me that he needs you as much as you need him."
"I do not need him," Leah corrected her friend.
"Perhaps you do not feel that need yet," Alicia added. "But this feeling of being enamored blossoms into something else, something more. Then, this dire need develops, and you realize that you cannot breathe without this other person by your side."
"I am not certain that I want to become that reliant on him," Leah teased. "Edward... he is different. His heart has been broken, just like mine, and I don't think that broken hearts ever heal fully, or at least enough to love unconditionally."
"You are wrong there," Alicia was adamant to prove her point. "Love heals everything and everyone. You simply need to be open to receive it."
Leah smiled. "That is what Mother used to say... only in different words."
"I always loved your mother, you know that," Alicia said softly, with the pang of pain felt in the hearts of both ladies, who shared the same sorrow of having lost a loved one.
"And she loved you as well," Leah replied, squeezing Alicia's hands back with her fingers.
She inhaled deeply, allowing all these words to sink in. "Honestly, I am afraid," she whispered so silently that she hoped Alicia could not hear her, but she did.
"Afraid of what?" Alicia asked, her eyes and mind focused on her friend.
"Of this... of opening myself up to love, because I might get hurt–"
"You have to take a risk," Alicia reminded her. "Love is always a risk. But without it, our lives would not be worth living at all."
Leah suddenly laughed. "It is funny that, of all people, you would be the one talking about risk."
"Right?" Alicia couldn't help but chuckle as well. "I always tell you to play it safe, don't I? But in love, there is no playing safe. You put all your cards on the table, so to speak, and you give your whole self. That is the only way to love someone."
"That is the way I love you," Leah agreed.
"And I you," Alicia nodded.
