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I ran out of that room and out of the house, and I cried silent tears along with my silent shame and regret, and even then, when my life was filled with nothing but lies—there was one thing in the entire world I knew to be true: my silence would kill us both.
Holden
“No fucking way.”Probably not the best words to throw out the day before I start my senior year of high school, especially since I’m sitting in the principal’s office with both my mom and said principal, but still: No. Fucking. Way. am I doing what they’re asking of me.
Next to me, Mom gasps. “Holden, you cannotspeak like that!” She actually has the audacity to sound serious. She’s the one who taught me to swear like a sailor. Not on purpose, obviously, but I’m pretty sure the first word out of my mouth wasshit, and I sure as fuck didn’t get it from Sesame Street.
“Your mother and I have spoken, and we both agree that this is a great opportunity for you,” Principal Hemmings says, his cheeks blushing red when he finally trails his eyes from my mom’s chest to me. He knows I’ve caught him leering at her, and it’s not like it doesn’t happen on the regular. It’s the only downside to having a young mom. Still, if he doesn’t check himself soon, I have no problem climbing over his desk and pulling his teeth out one by one.
“I’m sure you’d agree with anything my mother says,” I mumble, earning another gasp from Mom. “Especially when you’re looking at her tits when she’s speaking.”
“Holden!” That came from both of them, in sync.
Shaking my head, I sit up taller. “I’m not doing it.”
“You are.” Mom’s words come with a tone of finality, and I can’t help but narrow my eyes at her.
“I know you have a busy schedule, with football and basketball and baseball, and who knows what else, but I think this would be good for you,” Hemmings says, resting his elbows on his desk, his eyes on me, andnowhereelse.
After clearing my throat, I strum my fingers on the armrest of the cheap-ass chairs and say, my tone even, “I don’t know how many ways I can say this, butNo. Fucking. Way.”
The pain starts at my ear and quickly makes its way down my neck and then my entire face. A second later, I’m on my feet,screeching, and it takes a moment to realize that my mother is literally dragging me out of the office by my ear. I’m officially calling bullshit on all the times she’s asked me to open jars for her because the woman iswaystronger than I’ve given her credit for.
We’re standing in the foyer right in front of the office desk when she finally releases me. I’m quick to rub at the spot she’d just attacked; my eyes thinned to slits as I glare down at her. Then I take a quick glance around the space. Usually, the day before school starts, the office area’s filled with students checking their subjects and schedules and whatever else it is people who care about school do. Luckily for me, there’s only the office lady behind the desk and a girl I don’t recognize sitting in the short row of waiting chairs.
If I were the type of person to get embarrassed, this would be one of those moments.
The girl doesn’t even bother hiding the fact that she’s watching us, eyebrows drawn, her hazel eyes flicking between Mom and me. I wonder what she’s thinking.Ifshe’s thinking at all. She sure as hell wasn’t when she got dressed this morning. She’s in a tweed skirt down past her knees and a white short sleeve blouse with the buttons doneallthe way up to her collar. Back straight, hands folded on her lap, and next to her black old-lady shoes is a worn, brown, leather messenger bag. She dresses like she’s eighty, but she doesn’t look a day over eighteen. Her eyes catch mine and widen slightly. For a moment—a split second—we just stare at each other. And, because I like to play games, I throw her a smirk and then a wink.
Because why the fuck not?
Jamie
“What the fuck, dude?” the woman standing in front of G.I. Jock whisper-yells, but he doesn’t hear her because he’s too busy trying to… what?Flirtwith me? Intimidate me? He’ll have to try a lot harder than that to get under my skin. After waiting a few seconds for a reaction from me and not getting one, he finally looks back at the woman.
Going by their possible age difference and the way she’s speaking to him, I assume that she’s his much older sister. For a moment, I wonder where his parents are. I push away the question, annoyed that I even went there. G.I. Jock’s sister sighs, shaking her head. “I need you to work with me on this, Holden.”
Holden. I flip the name over in my mind for no other reason than Ilikeit. It’s a good name. Solid. Strong.
“What is this even about?” Holden says, crossing his arms. “You’ve never cared about what I do before. Why start now?”
“Because it’s your senior year and—”
“Bullshit,” Holden cuts in.
The middle-aged lady behind the large reception desk clears her throat, giving the siblings a look that clearly statesthis is a school, dipshits, and you’re being inappropriate.
They both roll their eyes, moving two steps away from the desk and closer to me. Holden’s sister keeps her voice low when she says, “I need to start being more present in your life, and this is how I’m choosing to do it.”
“How is this making you morepresent?” Holden retorts, his broad shoulders shifting when he shoves his hands in his pockets. “This is just giving me somethingmoreto do on top of—”
“At least I’ll know where you are instead of you disappearing at all hours of the day and night doing God knows what to fuck knows who.” Ah, so Holden’s a player, and his sister doesn’t like it. I should’ve picked up on that the moment I laid eyes on him.
“This has nothing to do with me, does it?” Holden’s tone changes when he says this. He’s no longer combative, no longer fighting her. It’s as if he’s accepting whatever fate his sister is asking of him. “It’s about Mia, right?”Mia? Hmm. I’m intrigued. This is the most drama I’ve witnessed since Mom used to make me watch a bunch of housewives on reality television.
They have the same eyes, I note, and they use those eyes to stare each other down for way too long. The difference? Holden’s eyes get clearer while his sister’s fill with tears. “Stop it,” she whispers, teeth gritted.
Holden doesn’t stop. “Because you didn’t know what was happening with her, and so you’re projecting that fear on me?”
