AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I laugh—bitter and full of disdain. “You didn’t want me involved in youractuallife, so you fed me lies. Lies upon lies upon fucking lies. Like when you told me you loved me? Was that a lie?”
“No,” he’s quick to answer.
I almost believe him.
Almost.
“You had three weeks! From the moment we broke up until I saw you at school. Three weeks, Dean! And you never once—”
“I couldn’t,” he cuts in. “I was too ashamed over what I’d done to you.”
I shake my head, fighting back the liquid heat burning behind my eyes. “Shame? You don’t get to have that emotion. In this scenario, Iownshame!”
His lips press tight, a mannerism I’m all too familiar with. He’s thinking of the right thing to say or do next, but nothingwill ever be enough.Nothing. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not! You’re just sorry you got caught.”
“Iamsorry,” he repeats, stepping closer and tentatively reaching for me.
I take a step back.
After a defeated sigh, he says, “I wasn’t lying when I told you I love you, Jamie. I do.” He takes a breath. “Please, just give me another chance.”
“I DID!” I scream. And then I lose it. Completely. I break apart in front of the only person in the world I allowed to see my cracks, see every damaged piece of me. “I gave you a chance!” I shout. “Even afteryourgirlfriend came knocking onmydoor, looking forherboyfriend, I gave you a fucking chance! And I told you, Dean! I told you to choose. Her or me. And who did you choose?” His silence does nothing to placate my anger, and so I shove him.Hard. “Who did you choose?” I cry, pushing him again.
“We both know what happened,” he grinds out, trying to keep his balance.
“Say it!” I demand. “I want to hear you say the words!”
“Why?” He sounds as exhausted as I feel.
I tell him the truth. Every pathetic, heartbreaking piece of it. “So I can stop fucking loving you!”
It’s strange—how a few simple words screamed into the void can give clarity to the haziness I’d been living in.
Dean broke my heart. A heart heknewwas barely beating. And it wasn’t just about our so-called feelings for each other. It was aboutme—about my inability to trust, to care, tolove. He knew all the parts of me I’d never breathed a word to anyone else before. And he urged me to confide in him, to reveal all my secrets, my shame, my torment… and then he took all those things from me, along with my fragile heart, and he severed them into
tiny,
irreparable
pieces.
“Say it,” I beg, my voice barely audible over the pounding in my eardrums. “Please.”
He gives me what I want. What I need. “I chose her.”
15
Jamie
When my mother died,there was no funeral.
No big goodbye.
No shock.
No tears.
