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“Right.” I nod, feeling only slightly pathetic for thinking anything sinister was happening.
“It’s actually pretty cool inside,” he says. “I can take you there during the day if you want to check it out.”
That sounds… amazing. “Yeah, I’d love to see it.”
He turns slightly, his teeth showing with his smile, right before he stops in front of the only house I can see with lights on. “Shit,” he mumbles, his grin fading just enough for me to notice it.
I look between him and the house. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he states, distracted. “You ready?”
It’s dark out, and I can’t make out much of what’s around us when I step out of the truck. There are already a few other cars here, and not knowing what to do, I wait for him to lead me away. With his hand on the small of my back, he guides me through the side of the house and toward the rear. The smell of a bonfire fills the air, along with something else I can’t quite put my finger on.
“Lockwood’s here!” is the first thing I hear when I round the corner. The first thing I see?Holden. I stop in my tracks and pivot on my heels, only to slam into a solid wall of Colton.
“Relax, Jamie,” he says, his voice low, only for me. It’s the second time he’s said those exact words in the span of minutes. If he thought he was going to have a stress-free, fun, wild night with me, he was clearly mistaken.Poor guy. “He’s already seen you, so running isn’t going to change it.” Over my head, he calls out, obviously to Holden, “I thought you weren’t coming out tonight?”
Holden doesn’t respond. Not verbally. And when Colton uses my elbows to spin me around and face the storm, Holden looks… bored.
This is going to be a blast.
Colton introduces me to Jasmine and Mason, the couple who rent the house, then adds, “And you obviously know Holden and hisgirlfriend,Bri.”
I need an escape plan. Maybe one that includes me jumping into the roaring fire set ablaze in the middle of the yard. That makes the most sense.
We’re moving now, closer and closer to the danger zone, and then Jasmine says, “One of the chairs broke, so Colton’s going to have to get his ass dirty.”
Holden moves so fast, it’s almost as if I imagined it. He stands, takes the deck chair he was using, and walks it over to us. “Here.” He drops the chair right by Colton’s feet. “Since you’re so comfortable taking what’s mine.”
“Thanks, bro,” Colton says to his retreating back. “You’ve always been so generous when it comes tosharing.” There’s clearly an underlying meaning behind his words, but I’m too wrapped up in my own thoughts to care about what it might be.
Colton tugs on my hand, forcing me to sit in the chair beside him, and swear, it’s like an out-of-body experience watching Holden lift Brianna out of her seat so he can sit down and settle her across his lap. She giggles at this, and I can’t blame her. I would’ve too. And then his mouth is on her neck, his large hand gliding up her thigh, beneath her skirt, until it disappears completely, and I know...I knowI should look away. That watching them like this is just adding more pain to my already torturous existence here. He’s told me he’s moved on, and now he’s proving it.
I awaken from my nightmare when Colton says my name and taps my leg. I look down at the joint in his hand—and I now realize what that unfamiliar smell was. “No, thank you,” I say, shaking my head.
“You don’t smoke?” Jasmine asks me.
“No, but I don’t have a problem with it.” Holden and I had gone to a total of two parties together our senior year, and I had watched him smoke weed, laughed with andathis shenanigans.
“You drink?” Mason asks. “I can grab you a beer.”
I glance across from me at Brianna’s hands on Holden’s jaw as their mouths lock, tongues meeting. I look back at Mason. “A beer would be great, thank you.”
Only when I say this does Holden pull away, his eyes finding mine through the floating embers crackling between us. We watch each other—adding additional time to our once-favorite Staring Game. Only the minutes don’t count, because the sirens already sounded, and the game’s been over for a while now.
Colton returns with three beers, hands me one, and sets the other two beside my chair. “In case you need them,” he says.
I crack open the first beer, down it within minutes. Then I glance up at Holden, who’s still watching me while his girlfriend runs her hand through his hair, kisses his neck, his jaw. And while I could drown in my sorrows, my regrets, I choose to grab another beer and drown in alcohol instead.
22
Holden
Thank fuck I didn’t stay home because Jamie is approximately three seconds away from intoxication. I can tell by how her eyes are drooping and her body is swaying. They’ve been here an hour already, and every time a joint or beer is offered to me, I pass. I need to be coherent in case shecan’tbe.
The small gathering I was expecting has turned into a full-blown party, and there are at least thirty people here, but I haven’t moved once becausetheyhaven’t moved, either.
With every sip she takes, Colton inches closer and closer.
