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Benny doesn’t seem to take in my response, which is probably a good thing. “One time, Daddy and Holden took me camping, and I cried because I missed my mama.” Mia pouts as she smooths down his hair.
“That’s incredibly sweet,” I tell him, amazed that twoteenagerscould raise such an amazing kid, even apart, and my mom… I push away the thought. “I’m sure she missed you too.”
Benny cocks his head to the side, his eyes squinting. “Where’s your mama?”
Oh. We’re back here again. “Um… she’s…” I nudge Holden, urging him to help. He doesn’t.
“Buddy,” Mia coos. “Jamie’s mom died.”
“Oh. So, she’s in heaven with Daddy’s mama and your papa,” Benny says simply, focusing on me again. “Do you think they know each other?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I hope they do!” Benny says, sitting back in his seat and bringing his snow cone closer. “That way, they could all take care of each other. Likefamily.”
I watch him shovel spoonful after spoonful in his mouth, his head bopping to his imaginary music again, and with each second that passes, the vision of him gets less and less clear.
Likefamily.
My mom never spoke of a family besides Beaker and me. I don’t know a single thing about her parents—my grandparents—and she never mentioned siblings or cousins or… a life before Beaker. I guess it’s my fault too. I never thought to ask. Sometimes I wonder if I have grandparents who’ve been looking for me—aunts who wonder about me every day.
Heat burns behind my nose, and my throat begins to close, and before I know what’s happening, liquid yearning streaks down my cheeks.
“Aw, Jamie,” Mia whispers, and Benny’s head snaps up. I blink, and he’s out of his seat and walking toward me, and then he’s wrapping his little arms around my neck, holding me to him.
I hold him back—this sweet, innocent boy who’s loved by so many people for so many reasons, and I cry. And I don’t even know why I’m crying, because it would be so sad and pathetic if it were jealousy causing my tears… but I don’t think that’s it.
I think, deep down, I want a family of my own. People who love me for me and, as much as it pains me, I don’t think the boy I love can be the one to give me that.
Leo returns, grasping a large paper bag. “What did I miss?” he asks, somehow looking at everyone all at once.
“I was just giving Miss Jamie a recharge,” Benny says, releasing me. He doesn’t go back to his spot. Instead, he sits beside me, clinging my entire arm to his chest.
“Okay…” Leo mumbles, watching Mia wipe her eyes, before sitting down next to her. He places the paper bag on the table, then pushes it toward me. “So, my sister owns a bookstore back home, and Holden called, said you were into fairy tales…”
I open the bag and peer inside, pulling out a pile of books, all different sizes and genres. My grin is ridiculous.
“He said thatSnow White’s your favorite?” Leo asks.
I look over at Holden, my smile widening at the look of pure joy on his face, and nod once.
Leo says, “The Brothers Grimm wrote the originalSnow White, and it’s a lot darker than the Disney version. They also wroteHansel and GretelandRumpelstiltskinand a bunch of—”
“Nerd!” Holden yells.
“Shut up!” Mia throws a snow cone at him.
Leo shakes his head, pointing to the darkest book in the pile. “I put their fairy tale collection in there.” He smiles to the side, almost sheepish. “My mom loved books, so she passed that love on to my sister and me.”
“That’s Nanna Kathy in heaven with your mama!” Benny says, hugging my arm tighter.
“Thank you,” I tell Leo.
“Don’t thank me yet. My sister threw in some romance novels, too, and they’re not my mama’s kind of romance, if you know what I mean.”
“You love the romance novels,” Mia teases.
“You love what I learn in the romance novels,” Leo states.
