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I shrug.
“Connor, give me something here because I’m risking a lot by doing what I do for you.”
My lids lower, and I stare down at my lap, my chest filled with heartache, but beneath that… I feel hope. It’s there. It’s just not as prevalent. I look back at Austin, my eyes locked on his. “We fell in love at a lake surrounded by reckless ideals, and our lives at the time didn’t give us enough grace to allow us to live that love. She left, and I stayed, and every day that you and I have been best friends, I work toward getting her back. She was my first everything, and I want her—no, I need her—to be my last everything. I need her to be beside me when all of this is over and everything ends, because she is my end game, Austin. My forever.”
He stares back at me, unblinking, his breaths shallow. Then he exhales, his cheeks puffing with the force. “Damn, Connor. I thought she was, like, a one-night stand that you couldn’t shake… I didn’t know…” He shakes his head. “So, this is why you’ve shown no interest in other girls?”
“There are no other girls for me.”
He nods, slowly, then turns to his computer, his fingers hovering above the keyboard. Within seconds, he has Ava’s records on the screen and a list of the classes she’s registered for. “I have to tell you something,” he says, “since we’re out here revealing all our secrets…”
“Okay…?”
He faces me again. “I’m not really hacking into Duke’s database. I work in their admissions office.”
I chuckle. “I know.”
“You do?”
“I’m not as dumb as you think I am.”
“It made me feel cool for a while there, though.”
“I know that, too.”
“See?” he almost yells. “I am your best friend.”
FORTY-EIGHT
ava
I stare down at the map and then at the door in front of me. I should’ve paid more attention during orientation, but I was too busy taking everything in. The fact that there’s no one else here makes me nervous. I grab my phone, look at the time. I’m not that early. At least I don’t think I am. Maybe I got the time wrong. Pressure builds in my chest, and my hands begin to shake. This is just the first day of the next four years of my life. I’m out of my depth, and I have no one to turn to.
I’m being a brat.
I have Mom, who I can call any time now.
And I have Trevor.
I hold the phone tighter in my hand, and with the other, I press the heal of my palm to my temple. I hadn’t slept—stupid, I know—but I’d been excited. Now that excitement has turned to fear and—
“You look lost.”
I look up and into the eyes of a boy—no, a man. You’re in college now, Ava. Duke.
“First day?” he asks, his hazel eyes fixed on mine. They’re larger than average, caused by the thick-lens glasses he’s wearing. Dark, curly hair flies in all directions, and then he offers a smile, kind, and I can’t help but do the same.
My airways widen when I exhale a breath. “Yeah. First day and I don’t know if I’m lost.” I point to the door behind me. “Is this criminal psychology?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Well, good. I can’t imagine anything worse than going to the wrong class right off the bat.”
He chuckles. “It’d be one of those things that keeps you up at 3 a.m. twenty years from now.”
“For sure,” I laugh out.
He stands taller, his smile getting wider. “I’m Austin, by the way.”
