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“Honestly, my mom is a natural biologist. I chose it because it just seemed like the logical thing to do—follow in your parent’s footsteps. But now that I’ve been here a semester, I can admit I don’t want her life. I’ve never liked camping or hiking. I despise that weird, camo-green color she wears everywhere, and I don’t really like sitting in labs or writing papers. I do like problem-solving, and I’m good at math and memorizing things. Thus, I’m doing fine in class, I just don’t want to be there.”
Tim frowned slightly and took another big sip of his pop. “Where do you want to be?”
“Fashion Merchandising.” Deep exhaled the answer quickly, then squeezed her eyes shut so she didn’t have to see his reaction. Just because she’d decided to be honest didn’t mean she was ready to see how people responded to that honesty. A few heartbeats passed and Tim didn’t say anything. Slowly, Deep cracked one eye open.
He had tilted his head to one side and was studying her like he wasn’t sure what to do with the idea of fashion. To be fair, the guy wasn’t exactly dressed like he cared a great deal about what went on his body, so…
“Just say it,” Deep said with a sigh.
“I don’t—”
“Clearly you have thoughts, and they can’t be any worse than what my parents think.”
“Oh, no.” Tim shook his head so hard, the curls he’d murdered with a hairbrush wobbled. “I think the opposite. At least I think I do. Wait, what do they think, because maybe—”
Deep slouched over one side of his chair in a dramatic show of disdain. “Do not make me repeat it.”
“Okay, I want to acknowledge that I don’t have all the variables before I register my opinion—” Tim cut himself off as she narrowed her eyes. “I just think that it’s better to live the life you want than to wake up at 60 and realize that you’ve been living someone else’s, and you’ve hated every minute of it.”
Her jaw dropped open slightly. Deep wasn’t sure what she had expected him to say. Maybe something sympathetic like, ‘Your mom will get over it,’ or pragmatic like, ‘What about a double major?’ Instead, he got it. More than got it. He could articulate this better than she’d been able to bumble through for the past few weeks.
“Did your parents say that too?” Tim asked, his voice lurching with nerves.
“Not at all.” Deep smiled, and it felt like the first real smile she’d used all night. Maybe this New Year’s thing wasn’t so bad. Sure, she hadn’t kissed Ali, but sitting here with Tim wasn’t so awful. In fact, now that she was looking at him, like really looking, he wasn’t half-bad to look at. Like, yes, he needed an iron, but he had a sweet smile, and the nerdy ones were always the ones to surprise you in bed because—
Nope. Deep cut herself off. She was not going there. This year was about her doing her, not her making bad judgment calls or getting attached to people just because they understood one piece of who she was.
Clearing her throat, if not her mind, she looked for a change of subject. “So, how was your New Year’s?”
Really, that was the best she could come up with? Why hadn’t she asked about his major or Berlin, or literally anything else? It was 2 a.m., which was practically still midnight. That was like asking how he liked a movie when it was only half over. What was wrong with her? Why was she being weird?
If Tim noticed she was suddenly the most socially awkward person in the greater Seattle area, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he shrugged. “It wasn’t much of a New Year’s. To be honest, I mostly stayed here, save to pick up dinner.”
Deep’s eyebrows shot up in surprise before she could stop herself. “So, you didn’t go home, and you consciously chose to be in the dorm for New Year’s with zero plans?”
“Basically.”
“Why?”
“I mean, I was going to go out. Kiss someone at midnight and all that, but then I got busy trying to figure out how to exploit this weakness in this thing online and I lost track of time.”
Never mind. She wasn’t the most socially awkward person in Seattle, after all.
Taking in the look on her face, he rushed to explain. “I wasn’t going to do anything bad. Just tell the company and collect the bounty for finding the bug. Now, I’ve got pad thai money for the next few weeks, so there is that…” Tim trailed off, realizing his explanation wasn’t helping his case.
“So, you didn’t go out because you were trying to hack into something?”
“Pretty much.” Tim winced, then tried to shrug it off. “But it wasn’t like I had a date, or any real plans, or anything.”
Disappointment crept into his eyes and pulled his smile tight. Tim felt like he’d missed out on something. Deep opened her mouth to reassure him that the party hadn’t been that much fun when her phone buzzed as a text came in.
“Campus safety is on their way.”
Tim looked a little disappointed she was leaving, and Deep realized that for him, she basically was his New Year’s party. The poor guy had gotten so laser-focused he missed out. He should have gotten to kiss his friends or strangers or hide in the bathroom or just stand around and wait for the party to start again like she had. Instead, he was effectively working, and that had to be a labor rights violation or something.
“So, you missed the party. It’s basically still New Year’s. Want to kiss me?”
“What?” Tim’s eyes got wide.
