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Deep’s heart dropped a fraction of an inch. He was right about the deal they currently had, but hearing it spelled out stung. More than that though, if she got this job, she really would be putting an end to their back and forth. Maybe that was a good thing, even if it hurt. This might just be the sign that it was time for both of them to move on.
“Look. Just apply,” Tim said, as if he could feel her wavering toward saying yes. “Get the problem, then solve it.”
“You’re right.” She laughed, even though the idea of closing this chapter of their relationship didn’t feel that funny. “Who knows, I might now even have a gray area to worry about.”
“Exactly.” Tim perked up. He opened his mouth to say more when Beckett began clinking his glass near the microphone.
“Friends, it’s almost that time. Ten. Nine. Eight.”
As the rest of the room began counting, Deep looked over at Tim, who was watching her, half a smile stuck to his face. A small wave of panic washed over her. They were officially too old for stairwell sex, too well-known for random make-outs, and too complicated a place for bad luck. She’d basically fooled herself into playing this game until she wound up with bad luck.
“Three. Two. One!”
“Happy New Year, Deep.” Tim leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. It was a simple and sweet kiss that let her know exactly where she stood. The door between them was officially closed. She’d just have to make her new resolution to forget about him.
5
“So…”Tim cleared his throat, pulling her out of her memory and back to the bar. In this room with him, at another New Year’s party. A place and situation they’d both agreed to never be in together again.
“I don’t do resolutions anymore. Sort of like New Year’s parties,” Deep mumbled, willing herself to survive this encounter. She’d seen him countless times over the last few years, through every totally bizarro CEO idea she could imagine, and even a few that were new. The memory of him shouting into a squeaky bullhorn and boring everyone to death at the company retreat last year should be enough to get her through tonight without her willpower shattering.
“I guess. Some things really do change.” Tim laughed and then flinched slightly as something on the wall caught his eye. Deep turned to see what he was looking at, her chest squeezing as she watched the massive clock on the wall ticking like it was slicing at pieces of her heart. Just a few minutes to midnight.
Turning back around, their eyes met. A small part of Deep wondered if she could just dive under the bar and pretend she hadn’t seen him. That she wasn’t cracking into pieces in front of him. The other part of her just wanted to be honest. Admit that maybe the rule didn’t need to be so strict after all of this time. Or maybe that it never needed to be. She knew who she was and who he was, and no party was going to change that. Why had she been so stubborn and obsessed with her resolutions? Now she’d missed her shot entirely.
Tim took a deep breath, slowly releasing it as he said, “Maybe don’t kiss me. It always leads to goodbye. I don’t love that part.” He laughed, the sound hollow, as he shook his head. “Can I admit that? Probably against the rules.”
Maybe she wasn’t too late after all. Resisting the urge to make sure no one was watching, Deep stepped forward and reached for his hand. She watched as half a dozen emotions played across his face, from surprise to joy to caution to curiosity.
Lacing her fingers between his, she leaned in, feeling a smile make its way across her face, and whispered, “What if my resolution is no more goodbyes? Does that influence your calculations at all?”
A hint of a smile traced his lip. “I guess we’ll see what happens at midnight.”
* * *
