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“I didn’t think you were going to take two extra shifts in one week,” she says, her pitch and volume rising.
I keep my own volume low, though I’m having a hard time hanging onto my temper. “I put my name in the pool, and that’s what happened. It’s always a roll of the dice, you know that.”
Looking away, she mutters, “What I don’t know is why you’re so against asking your mom for help. She’s got plenty of money.”
“We can’t do that every single time we get into financial trouble. My dad’s medical bills were huge. She might need that money herself.”
“So what are we going to do?” And she’s up and pacing. “No offense, but you look terrible.”
“Thanks a lot.” I shake my head as I refill my glass. “I look terrible, I feel like shit, and I’m failing as a dad. Anything else you’d like to add?”
“Well, we haven’t had sex in I don’t know how long. Neither of us are exercising. Your blood pressure is going up.”
Her volume is rising, so I take mine down a notch, hoping she’ll follow. “Maybe you could back off from saving the world for a little bit. You’re giving me shit for not being there for the kids, but I’m the one paying the bills here.”
She spins to face me. “Well, forgive me if I’m trying to make sure there’s a decent world for our kids to live in when they grow up.”
“Don’t you think you’re catastrophizing just a little bit?”
“Oh, and here we go with the patronizing.”
“I am not the villain here, Dee.” I take in a deep breath and blow it out again, attempting to rein in my temper and shift gears. “I’m killing myself trying to support us all on top of being there for the kids. You could slow down and pick up some of the slack. I mean, when Hillary wins—”
She cuts a hand through the air between us. “Shh. Don’t jinx it.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s got to win. Especially if the Republicans are stupid enough to nominate that idiot from that reality show.”
“It’s not like one win means it’s over. Fighting these laws is worse than playing whack-a-mole.”
“Your team has struck down so many of the TRAP laws—the reason you went back to work in the first place, remember? And correct me if I’m wrong, but you are not the only lawyer the ACLU has.”
She squeezes her temples with the heels of her hands for a long moment before sitting down next to me. “Have you thought about switching specialties? Like that woman we met at the Christmas party who works at a clinic that just does colonoscopies? Her schedule sounded like a breeze compared to what you’re doing, and she said she makes more money now.”
I’m used to my quick-witted wife changing tactics without warning, but this time I can’t quite keep up.
“And we could have weekends together,” she adds. “Like normal people. I can ask to travel less. I mean, you’re right. Things are a lot better. And once Hillary’s in office, RBG can retire, and we’ll get two supportive justices in there.”
“You’d take a back seat on the TRAP cases then?”
She hesitates for just a microsecond before nodding. “If you’ll look into finding something with a better schedule.”
Fingers on its stem, I rotate my wineglass on the counter as I consider her suggestion. Part of me is ready to jump at the chance for a more humane schedule. The lack of sleep hits me a hell of a lot harder at thirty-seven than it did at twenty-seven. But one of the things I love about delivering babies is that it’s a new challenge every day. And even when I was working for Planned Parenthood, I always did OB shifts too. “It’s just, the thought of doing the same thing over and over again… I mean, kill me now.”
“You’d rather not know who’s taking care of your kids?” Before I can snap back, she squeezes my forearm. “Not getting enough sleep is not good for you.Thatmight kill you.”
“I’m the medical professional here.”
“Your dad died of a heart attack at sixty, Sam.” With a finger on my chin, she turns my head until I have to meet her gaze. “With that history and your yo-yoing weight, you have to be careful.”
“Oh, so now you’re saying I’m fat too.”
“No, dammit. I’m saying that if you die on me, I’ll never forgive you.”
7
December 31,2019
“I resolve to take a vacation.”
