AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Heartsick.
And I know that the only thing that will make me better is his arms around me. The only thing that will makehimfeel better are mine aroundhim.
But I know he won’t allow that.
So I wrap my arms around myself and whisper, a tear falling down my cheek, “And I wish that was all that you were.”
He follows it with his reddish-brown eyes, his rapidly healing face going all tight and… anguished.
Because I know he can’t see me cry.
And I also know that he doesn’t know how to make it stop.
“But you’re not, are you,” I continue, another tear falling. “You’re also a second son. A disappointment.”
He flinches at that.
Drawing back. Taking a step back from me as if he’s afraid of me now.
As if a crying girl, in her pink nightie and disheveled braid, dipped in pink love and heartbreak, is something to be afraid of.
“Don’t go there.”
“That’s what you’ve been told all your life,” I say, sniffling, ignoring him. “That’s what your dad, that horrible man, has told you. That’s what he’s told the world. And so that’s what they believe. They create all these rumors about you, all these lies. They misunderstand. And I have to admit that I misunderstood as well and again, I apologize for that. That I let you lead me astray, that I let you push me away rather than standing firm in my belief that there was more to you, the bandit that I met in the woods that first night. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that you misunderstand yourself too. You believe all the rumors too, all the lies about yourself. Youbelievethat you’re a disappointment. That that’s what you’re capable of. You actually believe that you’re all bad, all irredeemable, all sinner.”
I sob and press a hand on my mouth to not be too loud.
To not be too heartbroken.
Because I can see that it’s affecting him.
I can see that it hurts him to hurt me.
“But I want to tell you something, something thatyoutold me. You told me that I can’t be all good all the time. That I can’t be all perfect. That I’m allowed to be whoever I want to be. I’m allowed to be myself. So I’m telling you that you’re allowed to be yourself too. You’re allowed to be who you want to be andnotwhat the world believes you are. Not what your dad believed you are. And what you are is an abused boy who tried to survive the only way that he knew how. What you are is a loyal friend who saved a new kid from bullies. You’re a boy who’s learning to be a good brother, who’s struggling with it but still learning andgrowing. But most of all, you’re a boy who taught a girl how to be herself.
“You taughtmehow to be myself. How to be happy. How to love without guilt. You taught me that, Reign. You’re the reason I know myself. You’re the reason I know what I want. The kind of love I want. The kind of a relationship I want. You’ve shown it to me, these past few weeks.You. So even if you don’t believe anything that I’ve said today, I want you to believe that. I want you to believe me when I say that you’re not a disappointment. You never were and you never will be. Not to me.Neverto me. To me, you’re worth loving. You’re worth believing in. You’re worth choosing and I choose you, Reign Davidson. I will always choose you. Even if you don’t want me to.”
CHAPTERFORTY-ONE
Who: The Bubblegum
Where: The second-floor bedroom in the carriage house on the Davidson estate
When: 1:53 AM; the night Echo tells Reign that she loves him
Dear Bandit,
You left.
And it hurts.
My body. My heart. My soul.
I hurt.
I’ve lied about things to you but I didn’t lie when I said that I believe.
And I do.
