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“The last time you did it, it was after Roland left you. Are you okay?”
“I hate you.”
“No more than I loathe myself.”
“Why did you do it?”
“She kicked me out. I threatened to never return if she didn’t… It was a horrible fight. The worst one we’ve had. It had been years trying to conceive, and no matter what I say, I’m still a piece of human shit.”
“You got that right.”
“Is she okay?”
“I just can’t understand why you didn’t stick around. You left her penniless, without insurance or anything to protect them.”
“Anya canceled our mutual checking account. I didn’t have a way to transfer money. I sent checks that haven’t been cashed. Doesn’t she have insurance through her work?” He exhales hard. “How bad are things?”
“You could’ve checked on her.”
“Did she tell you about the restraining order?”
“What?”
“I tried to keep track of her, and she claimed I was stalking her and got a restraining order.”
“That doesn’t sound like her.”
He huffs. “We had an ugly fight. Things were said that we didn’t mean, and… I made a mess.”
“Sounds like you weren’t the only one doing it.”
“Sure, but I promised to protect her, and I did a shitty job. I just didn’t want her to… I mean, it’s fucking cancer. How many people is that fucking shit going to take away from me? I couldn’t see her. First Mom… then yours. We could’ve prevented it.”
And this is exactly why I can’t judge him so much. But what am I supposed to do?
“Please tell me she’s still alive.”
I remain quiet because it’s not my place to say anything when they’re in turmoil.
“Siobhan, I just want the basics. Do I have a daughter or a son? Are they okay? I can send you money to cover any expenses. I’m not asking for more.”
“Where do you live?”
“I moved to another state. I’m far enough that I’m not tempted to go and visit her.”
“Let me see what I can do for you.”
“Tell her…” he sighs loudly. “I’m sorry.”
“We’ll talk later, okay?”
“How are you dealing with it? This can’t be easy for you.”
“I’ve been better,” I mumble, and I’m not sure what that means, but I hope I can survive this.
“Call me when you need me. I can send money or… just know I’m here for you, okay?”
When I hang up, there’s a text from Nydia.
