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“Marin, there’s something I—”
The sound of the palace horn blowing cut off my sentence. Marin’s eyes widened and she gasped. “I know the sound of that horn. Your father’s back.”
My stomach dropped.
If he was back, that meant Iston was too.
Chapter19
Ella
Marin and I packed up the remnants of our picnic and hurried to the palace. When we arrived, there were so many people gathered in the Great Room, listening to Iston and my father talk about their hunting adventures.
As I stared at Iston, I kept wishing for that spark inside my soul to break free and demand I make him mine. He looked different to how he usually looked, with his ash-blond hair ruffled, and dressed in a simple dark green T-shirt and jeans instead of his usual warrior leathers. Iston was the wise choice. He was sexy and fun, and I cared about him, but he wasn’t what my heart truly desired. I wanted the impossible, and it was going to be my undoing. I hung back in the crowd so Iston couldn’t see me.
Marin pulled on my arm, but I stood firm. “I’m not ready yet,” I said, keeping my voice low.
Her forehead creased in confusion. “What’s going on?” Marin looked into my eyes and her mouth dropped. “You’re not going to marry him, are you? Why didn’t you tell me?”
The ache in my chest came back with a vengeance. I didn’t want to hurt Iston, but there was no escaping it.
“I was about to tell you when the horns blew,” I confessed.
Marin glanced around frantically as if trying to find an escape. I would welcome that escape with open arms.
“Come on, let’s get you out of here,” she urged.
I was about to follow her when I looked back and saw Iston’s sea-green gaze on me. He smiled and there was no mistaking the desire in his eyes. It was evident what he wanted, especially after spending a few days away from me. He left my father’s side and started through the crowd toward us.
“Dammit,” I hissed. “He’s coming.”
Marin sighed and held my hand. “I’m sorry, Ella. I know this isn’t going to be easy.”
The closer Iston got, the more my insides rebelled. “No, it’s not.”
Marin let my hand go just as Iston closed the distance and lifted me in his arms. He buried his head in my neck, breathing me in.
“I’m so glad to be back. I wish you knew how much I missed you.” Before I could say anything, he tried to kiss me, but I backed up before he could. Then, his demeanor shifted, and he stared at me. “What’s wrong?”
So many people were around, and I knew we couldn’t speak in front of them.
“Let’s go outside,” I said, taking his hand.
Marin gave me a sympathetic look as we walked past her to the icy doors that led to the veranda, the same place I met Kai for the first time. When we stepped out into the frigid air, I walked over to the edge and gazed at the icy meadow.
“This isn’t the way I saw this happening in my mind,” Iston said. “I thought you’d be more excited to see me.”
I turned around to face him. “I’m always excited to see you, Iston. You mean a lot to me.”
He shook his head. “Why do I not feel like that’s true? You’re distant. It wasn’t like that between us when I left.”
I reached for his hands, hating what I was about to do. I knew it would be hard telling him that I didn’t want to take things further. It was going to be a shock to everyone in the realm. The problem was that I knew I couldn’t tell him the whole truth.
Studying our clasped hands, I let out a shaky breath. “I’m just going to come right out and say it.” I swallowed hard and looked into his sea-green eyes. His jaw clenched and I had no doubt he already knew what I was going to say. “I can’t complete the marriage bond with you, Iston.”
His grip on my hands tightened, and there was a fire in his eyes I’d never seen before. “Why not?” he growled.
My eyes burned and it made me hate myself even more. “Because you deserve someone who will love you.”
