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“What was that about?” Amie ponders out loud.
“They have to be here,” I say through gritted teeth. My eyes dart between the tents and before I can stop myself I start lifting the flaps and looking inside them. More than a few people yell at me, but I wave an apologetic hand and continue looking.
“Why would she lie to us?”
“I don’t know.”
When I lift the next flap, I’m staring at Alix.
She’s chopped her long blond hair into a bob and she’s dressed in jeans and an old flannel shirt. No one would think this woman is a threat, but I don’t know what to think of her at all. I know she’s capable of force, and of deception. That’s why I’m not surprised to see her here. I’ve thought Alix was hiding something since she showed up in Cormac’s offices. Why else would she take off as soon as we reached the surface?
“Adelice,” she says, but the shock in her voice is manufactured. She knew I would come.
“What are you hiding?” I demand, ducking into her tent.
“It’s nice to see you, too.” She stands to greet me, but I don’t take her extended hand. She turns and offers it to Amie, who accepts it with an uncomfortable glance in my direction.
“Is he here?” I ask her. I know she had a history with Erik, but would she keep me from him after what’s happened?
Alix turns away from me and rakes a hand through her loose hair. When she speaks, her voice is low and distant. “Erik is dead.”
I die in that moment. Amie’s arm wraps around my waist, but I push her away. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to erase the words from my head.
“You’re lying,” I accuse.
Alix rounds on me and there are tears in her eyes. “I wish I was lying.”
And then I know it’s true, because I can see her heart is broken. I hear it in her voice. I see it in the absence behind her eyes. I feel it in the hollow of my stomach.
“What happened?” Amie asks because I can’t.
“I’m not sure. I wasn’t there,” she says, reaching down to retrieve a bag from the ground. “Come on.”
We follow her out of the tent. Each step is automatic. I follow her because I should. I don’t care where we’re going.
“How can you know he’s dead?” Amie asks her. “If you weren’t there.”
A spark of hope flares in my chest. Why hadn’t I thought to ask that?
“I saw his body.”
The tiny flicker dies.
“Where is it?” I ask.
“I buried it.”
I don’t ask her where. It doesn’t matter. Erik isn’t there anymore. I try to remember what Loricel told me about people who die naturally. A piece of them fades back into the universe. Had I watched him fade away with Arras as I stood on the surface of Earth? No, Alix said she buried him, so he must have made it here.
“Wait,” I say, grabbing Alix’s wrist and twisting it. “You told me you didn’t know where he was. The night of Protocol Three.”
“I didn’t know where he was then.”
“But when you found out, you didn’t send for me?” I accuse.
“This isn’t Arras,” Alix reminds me. “I can’t shoot you a telebound. He’s dead, Adelice. I can’t change that.”
She can’t change it, and it’s not her fault. But I need to be angry with someone, because the pain is building like an inferno desperate for oxygen. I want it to consume me and destroy me.
