AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Maude shoved a plate under Cat’s nose. Crossed her meaty arms as if daring Cat to argue with her.
The smell of food turned her attention from the part of her cringing at the thought of facing Aidan. Habit kept her eating long after she was full. It was something to do.
More mistress than maid in this odd household, Maude shuffled as she refilled platters. Checked the tea. Scolded the housemaids chattering in the hall on their way upstairs. Finally, she huffed her bulk into a chair. Pulled a flask from her apron pocket, pouring a share into a bone china cup. Topped it with tea from the pot. Swigged it down before turning her attention toward Cat. “He’s not worth your fretting yourself to the grave. No man is.”
Cat froze with a fork halfway to her mouth, her meal settling like a stone in the pit of her stomach.
Helping herself to a piece of toast, Maude chewed with loud smacking noises. “I’ve put three in the ground. Left the fourth after he struck me with a shovel handle. Can’t say as I ever mourned for one of ’em. Full of their own bluster and not a one with the sense the gods gave a loon.”
“He’s different,” Cat answered without thinking.
Maude offered her smug sympathy. “And you said that about the first one too, didn’t you?”
Cat went rigid, a new awareness of this quivering mountain of a woman in her soiled apron and heavy wooden clogs, her frizzy, hennaed hair pinned in a lopsided mess beneath a wrinkled cap. “You’re Other.”
Maude plucked another piece of toast from the rack. “Did you think Daz Ahern would have any about the place who didn’t carry the blood of the Fey? The grousy old coot’s powers wax and wane along with his madness, but he understands that well enough.”
“Were you here when—”
She puffed up like a proud broody hen. “Aye. Been here going on twelve years.” Smoothed a hand over her apron as if she preened in her best silk gown. “I seen the rise. Cleaned up after the crash. Always been like that for us women. We’re there to mop the spills and dry the tears. It’s what we’re best at.” Her pointed stare flamed Cat’s cheeks. “Am I right?”
Last night. Being drawn from her reading by the horrible sound of Aidan’s grief. Finding him prostrate and sobbing like a child. That’s all it had been. Sympathy sex. She’d felt sorry for him. But one didn’t go around sleeping with every person one felt bad for. So why had she given herself to Aidan? Why had it been so easy?
“The boy what broke your heart. He was a right bugger. And this Kilronan?”
Cat’s mind slammed shut against the answer floating at the edge of her mind.
No. She’d not let any hint of that emotion see a glimmer of daylight. That way lay destruction.
“He’s not like anyone I’ve ever met,” she answered. Truth as far as it went.
Maude uncorked the flask. This time bypassing the teacup altogether. “I’m thinking not. He’s a pretty bau
ble for any woman to catch. Looks. A flashy title,” she fanned herself with her apron hem. “I’d have a go at him myself if I thought I stood a gallows’ chance.”
Cat frowned. “That’s not what I meant. I’ve met handsome gentlemen.” Though none with Aidan’s turbulent vitality. “And titles never impressed me.” Much to the lasting chagrin of her parents. “It’s something else. I can’t explain it.” And why she strained to define her relationship to Maude of all people, she didn’t know.
“You don’t need to be explaining anything to me at all, at all. The body knows what it wants and there’s little the head can do about it when the blood runs hot.” Maude rocked forward in her chair, spearing Cat with a wizened stare that had naught of stage farce about it. “As long as you understand how it ends, there’s no harm in enjoying the pleasures what come in a lover’s arms. Easier in some respects. You can always leave when the shovel comes out, can’t you?” She leaned back, cackling at her own joke.
Cat stood to leave this disturbing interview. The old woman may have finagled her way into Ahern’s confidences and even into his bed, but that didn’t give her the right to treat Cat like some wayward daughter in need of advice. “Good day,” she nodded in imitation of her mother’s best quell-the-servants tone.
Maude just grinned and shook her head. “You can act the great lady if you like, Catriona O’Connell, but I’ll tell you what you be needing to hear for your own good. No man wants to come second to a woman’s bed. No man wants to think he’s being compared and found lacking. And no man wants another’s leftovers. It’s just the sad facts.”
Had it been said in any but the most compassionate tones, Cat might have bristled. Argued. Defended. Instead the words fell into the abyss of her own insecurities. She knew them for truth. Had known her future as soon as Jeremy’s seed had borne fruit. As soon as her son had slid into the world, blue-fragile and bastard.
Maude gave a passing imitation of a grandmotherly smile, though she was clearly out of practice. “If you’re intent on playing with fire, I’ll not gainsay you. But I warn you—guard your heart. Protect it like you would a child.”
The abyss opened, sucking Cat under. Crushed her with a life-ending grave weight. For in the end, she’d failed at that too.
“Maude says you’ve been out here for hours. Didn’t come in for dinner.”
The kitten froze inches away from Cat’s outstretched hand before scrabbling under a broken board. A half hour’s toil all for naught.
She leaned back against a stall partition, drawing her legs underneath her. “Maude needs to mind her own business.”
She felt Aidan sink onto his haunches beside her. His shadow coming between her and the sun. The masculine, smoky, bay rum scent of him filling her nostrils.
Chewing her lip, she drew circles in the dirt with the tip of a finger. It kept her from having to look him in the eye. She’d been here before. Felt the blood rush of attraction. Become stupid with lust. Paid a life-altering price. She couldn’t afford it again. But every day she remained trapped in Aidan’s company brought a night when she lay awake and frustrated with a need she knew all too well.
