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“I’ve made a mess of everything. Cam hates me. Doran and the sword are long gone. I burned down half a building, for heaven’s sake.”
“You also saved Sinclair’s life and your own. And did it in such a way Doran has no idea you are still alive. While tallying the pluses and minuses, let us not forget those.”
“Cam doesn’t see it that way. He’s probably packing right now for London. Off to warn General Pendergast about the treachery of Other. They’ll be on our doorstep with pitchforks and burning brands in a week.”
“So stop him.”
Morgan fiddled with her wolf-head ring. Dropped her hands to her lap when she caught Scathach’s eyes on her. “You didn’t see him. He was beyond furious. With all of us.” Cam’s hate-filled words echoed in her head. The blunt viciousness of his accusations still curdled her insides. “But especially with me.”
Scathach swept up her skirts. Took a seat next to Morgan. Simple movements with the same contained precision she brought to the training field. “There is much you have to learn, but you do well under trying circumstances. I had faith you would rise to the challenge of seeing him again.”
Morgan cocked her a quizzing glance. “So this was a test?”
“No test, but I desired to find out if your time with Colonel Sinclair had lessened your resolve to make a life with the Amhas-draoi your own. Zeal quickly fades. It is important to discover whether an apprentice truly understands what is asked of him.”
“And what if I had given in? If the feelings I had were still there?”
“I knew you better than that. No Duinedon—no matter his attributes—would be enough for one such as you. Your grandmother may have turned her back on a life of the Fey, but the blood of the High Danu still runs within your veins. Even among the Other you are marked as special.”
“So you think I was wrong to do what I did?”
“To take him as a lover?” She shook her head, an understanding smile curling the corners of her lips. “I am not of your world, Morgan. I believe in taking pleasure where you find it. If the colonel brings you that pleasure, so be it. I am only saying you must not let an entanglement of this kind affect your true purpose. It is within the brotherhood you will find your strength. And you have a duty to fulfill to that brotherhood.”
Morgan picked at a corner of the broken bench, crumbled the stones in her hand. “Why must duty and love be separate? Why can’t we have both?”
“Perhaps for some it is possible. But would your colonel allow you to continue on such a path once you became his wife? He would expect you to keep his house, rear his children. You have barely begun your life. I have lived a thousand and a thousand such. And in all that endless time, I have seen the way the Duinedon regard their females. Treasured pets at best. Prisoners and drudges at worst. Is this the life you would take upon yourself? The walls of your marriage would become the bars of your jail.”
Morgan straightened, knowing the truth of Scathach’s words.
Cam was amazing. There was no doubt. Just those few minutes in his arms, the searing heat of his touch had been enough to throw all his past actions out of her mind. But the cold light of day had
shown her Cam’s true feelings.
She’d never be a proper lady. Saying the right thing. Doing it the right way. And she’d never yearned to be. Only Cam’s arrival in her life had allowed her a glimpse of what might have been. But might-have-beens faded when touched by truth. And the truth was, she was Amhas-draoi. That was enough for her. It always had been.
“I can’t let him go to General Pendergast with what he knows. Not yet. If he thinks things are bad now, the panic Doran’s betrayal would cause could destroy the Other.”
“If you can stall Sinclair, it will mean a reprieve. I fight the forces of Andraste. They wish to bring down the walls in order to find Neuvarvaan, and their voices grow louder among the court. We cannot let them cross over, Morgan. For the continued existence of both Fey and Duinedon. Tell your colonel that. He must be made to understand. An army of Undying under Doran’s control would be disastrous. But a full invasion by the Fey would be Armageddon.”
Morgan squared her shoulders, tossing away the handful of pebbles. Wiping her hands down her skirt, she stood. “Leave it to me. I’m very persuasive when I want to be.”
Chapter 12
Morgan stood outside Cam’s room, running through her mental checklist. Shaking off a sudden attack of nerves. She could stall Cam. She had to. She couldn’t let him leave for London. Not like things stood now. Scathach was right. What she and Cam shared had been amazing. But she needed to put aside personal feelings now. Focus on the task at hand. Retrieving Neuvarvaan for the Fey. Bringing down Doran for the Amhas-draoi.
She’d mapped out her strategy. Plan A consisted of a sincere apology followed by rational arguments and an avoidance at all costs of a repeat of their shouting match.
If that didn’t work, she’d move to plan B. Groveling on hands and knees. Not as highbrow but no less effective if carried off correctly. She’d even scare up a few tears. Men couldn’t resist weepy females.
Halfway through her instructions to herself, Cam flung the door open, his expression making it clear she’d have to go straight to plan B or she didn’t stand a chance.
Looking unsure whether to slam the door in her face, he hesitated for a moment too long. She took the choice away from him by pushing her way past, facing him with arms crossed. Just try and get her to leave now.
He shrugged. “Let me guess. You’re here to talk me into staying.”
“I’m here to say I’m sorry. I should have been honest about Doran’s identity from the beginning, but I didn’t see any other way.”
“Did you hope I’d be too busy staying alive to notice he knew you? I deserved to know the truth.”
