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"Our word against theirs," Josh insisted.
"Then go, but leave me be," she said and shoved the mirror away.
It had been so long since she'd looked in that mirror she winced from the sight of herself. Dark smudges under her eyes proved her brother right, she looked haggard and old. But for the life of her, she would not leave this place.
"Don't you want the same things other girls want, a husband and kids of your own?" Joshua shook her by the arms now.
"Lord willin'. Yes." Her mind quickly flitted to Chase Rivers, but that was crazy thinking.
"Then let's go get the kids and make the east our home again," he insisted. "This ain't home. This was some kind of crazy dream Pa had. It didn't work out. It ain't our home. This place is full of wild Indians, outlaws, and bad weather to boot."
Katherine knew he made a lot of sense, but the ties binding her were out there in the graves and she couldn't break them.
"I'm the oldest Joshua, so you wouldn't understand what I'm going through. I've got to stay," She insisted.
"I loved Ma and Pa as much as you did," he cried.
Katherine looked at her brother and suddenly jerked him to her so hard it rattled the rafters.
She hung on to him for long precious moments, knowing if he left her, she was as doomed as her parents and crying inside for herself and them. She was tired and maybe she could think better tomorrow. But for now she held her brother. She suddenly felt the hot tears falling from her own eyes. It had been so long since she cried, it was almost painful. Dear God, at last she could cry again. Her brother held her for a long while as she cried openly, sobbing.
He smiled down into her face. "All we got is each other, don't you see?"
"Things will look better tomorrow," she whispered desperately.
He nodded and pulled away. He kissed her on the forehead and went to feed the horses.
Katherine slumped in a chair, too tired to do much else. Wondering just what tomorrow might bring.
Chapter Ten
"I've made up my mind, I'm not staying," Joshua said very quietly as Katherine dipped his plate full of beans and handed it to him.
She sliced the cornbread and handed him some.
"You've thought it through?" She asked, not daring a look at him as panic hit the pit of her stomach. A knot of tears in her throat reminded her of another loss. Could she survive without him? Dare she stay here alone? But what choices were there? Her parents were gone and if their life were to mean anything, she had to protect it. It was the first real home she remembered.
"I have. And you're coming with me." Joshua's voice rose just a bit.
"No, I can't. I can't leave them." It sounded more like a moan than a statement.
"They are dead, Katherine, get it through your head." Joshua insisted, "I miss them as much as you do, but we are the survivors and we have to go on and live. They'd want us to."
"I know they are dead, but I can't leave them. I've taken the stationmaster job upon me too." Katherine insisted, as waves of apprehension swept through her.
"No one knows that but you. Mr. Bowlins is dead. Another stage will be out soon. More soldiers I'd expect. Indians. Think about this. You aren't making sense. You are going back with me." Joshua announced firmly.
They were in a heated discussion when the bedroom door opened and Chase Rivers walked into the room. He walked with a straight gait, as though there were no wounds. His eyes went from one to the other.
"Please sit down. I'll make you some food." Katherine brushed aside and prepared him a plate as she boldly met his gaze.
He nodded and eyed Joshua.
"I've been talking to my sister. Trying to make her understand. She has to leave, go back home with me. She has to raise the boys, our brothers." Joshua was saying as though Chase Rivers understood the situation.
Chase eyed the woman, not liking the feeling that looking at her gave him. Bewildered by the conflicting emotions circling the room.
She had a proud determined chin, a pleasant face, and hair to make any maiden proud. He did not need such a complication in his life. He should be out of here now but he felt the pull of this woman, and something older than time itself rooted him to these two. He needed to help her and Josh. Somehow he would get her back to the village.
