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Chapter Twenty-One
Dawn brought no reprieves. Katherine made herself busy about the station, as though there were things that needed doing. There was nothing. She felt empty inside.
Rejecting Chase proved a hard thing to do, but the way he knew her body frightened her. Never had a man touched her so and to think he was real and alive and wanting more, scared her witless. Although at times she felt herself weakening, wanting him too. His love had been so gentle.
There was no mother to talk to her, explain to her that everything would be all right. What scared her was she knew this man, and he her. And they were not married.
The day wore on, and as Chase had found them food, she prepared it without question. She skinned the rabbits and cooked them as though she had done it many times, but the truth was, she had never done such a thing. The action seemed to come naturally to her. This too scared her. Nothing seemed real any more. She was doing things she had never done before.
When darkness came again, she was afraid he might take her to his bed, and in reflection she almost hoped he would. For she realized with clarity, she wanted him too. But the white man's shame felt heavy on her too. And her mind warred. Was this what it was like to be a breed, to have two different sets of values to deal with all the time?
But he surprised her, he came to sit on what was left of the burnt out porch, and pulled her against him. "Do not be afraid of me, little one…," h
e whispered gently.
"I'm not afraid of you. Only what you do to me when I look at you."
He smiled.
"Hawks said I was part Indian, is it true?" her voice was low, husky.
"Yes…you…you are a breed Katherine," Chase said with a long sigh. "I know it is hard to accept. You grew up thinking differently. But according to Burning Tree…"
"Burning Tree?" she turned her head and his mouth was a mere inch away from hers.
He gasped for a second, tensing himself against the need to be with her once more. "He is the medicine man, the Shaman of our tribe. He says you are the great, great granddaughter of a mighty chief and you have powers you know nothing about."
"And you believed him?" she asked looking into his face.
"Yes…I guess I did. For it was he that sent the dreams to us, Katherine. So that I might find you and bring you back to the tribe," Chase explained.
"But there is no one there that I am kin too?" she questioned.
"No…no one." He seemed to relax, but he loosened his hold of her.
"Then why should I go…?" she questioned.
He shrugged, his hands going down her arms and stretching hers against him. "You do not have to go, but Burning Tree says you will…"
"And you believe him?" she looked into his face.
It was hard being this close to Katherine, knowing her as he did, and not having her. But he steeled himself to his strength. "I believe him…"
"He's wrong; I do not possess special powers. If I did I would have saved my mother…," she said lowly.
"He said you know not of these powers, but they are there, and he will help you find them."
"Why did he…why….were the dreams…so…personal…?" she shuddered.
Chase hated to see her reject what they shared, but he understood her thinking. She had thought like a white so long, that was the only way she could. And he could not fully explain why Burning Tree chose to unite them, only that he did. She was his, whether she knew it, or understood it. And he would protect her to his death.
She turned to stare into his eyes, but he did not reply to this question.
"I must know now, you have not spoken of it…my brother…is he…?"
"Yes," Chase rushed to say before she spoke the words. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I could not save him. When I came back to the cabin, the Captain was lying on the floor, his head bleeding, Lee was shot, and no one else remained but Josh. I went to him, hoping he was better somehow. He was worse. He said he didn't want to die, didn't want to leave you…."
Katherine felt the tears falling on her cheek, but she was not ashamed to shed them, for she had loved Josh maybe more than any of her other siblings. They were so close.
