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He turned away again, unable to cope with her revelation.
She squeezed his shoulders and smiled against him and when he turned to look at her, his emotions seemed to swamp him.
“Just once, don’t say anything, just let me bask in it for a few minutes. Let me enjoy being in love for a few precious minutes, it’s probably all I’ll ever have. It’s the most wonderful feeling I’ve ever had about another person, and you can’t imagine the wonder of being able to say it aloud. Just saying it makes me so happy. Even though you don’t feel the same…” She sighed with a smile.
“Riley!” he exclaimed and, after staring deep into her eyes, he pulled her into his arms for a kiss that curled her toes and melted her heart. “This isn’t right, it’s not going to work, but for just a few minutes,” he repeated as his lips covered hers in a promise.
His lips explored every inch of her face. His hands pulled her close, his thumbs seeking the peak of her breast through the cotton of her shirt as he wrapped his arms around her. She sighed, whimpered, and clutched him. Those feelings his thumbs evoked made her squirm. She’d never dealt with pure raw desire before.
He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed, his hooded, guarded glance never leaving her. He laid her gently against the sheets. He stared down at her for a long while, and she reached to pull him down to her.
“I want you to love me, if only this one time, so I remember it and cherish it. I love you. Please…”
Sam pulled away and stared into her eyes. “You don’t have any idea what you are saying…” He raised himself over her on one knee.
“Yes I do. I’ve thought of it for a long time now. Dreamed of it. I love you and want to be one with you.”
“No…this is as far as it goes.” Sam got off the bed and still stared down at her.
Tears she hadn’t shed clouded her vision. Hurt beyond belief, she stared back at him.
He shook his head and turned away. “I wouldn’t do that to you…”
“Do what…love me?” She raised her voice first then sat up.
“I won’t make love to you and leave you…I’m not an animal. And I won’t take the chance of getting you pregnant, Riley,” he insisted, grabbing his head.
“Then why leave me at all? Why can’t we be together, Sam?” she asked innocently. “You may not be able to say the words, but you sure act like you love me.”
He turned on her now and came to stand just before her. “Don’t you think I feel anything when I kiss you, touch you? I want to rip the clothes from you, and kiss every inch of you. I want to make you mine and give you babies. But I won’t do that to you. I won’t subject you to that kind of life.”
“By your refusal you subject me to much worse.” She let the words he spoke sink in for a long moment, then she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “Well…then Sam Tanner, get out of here and don’t come back,” she wailed.
“What?”
“You heard me, get out of here. It’s torture being with you and knowing you won’t commit to me, even though I know you love me. You’re too proud to say it. But I know you love me. I’ve known for a while. But I don’t think you know how much yet. So go on, get out of here, now.”
“You’re serious?” He frowned at her now.
“Very. Get out!” she shouted. She threw a pillow at him. He dodged.
“Okay…but I’m not coming back no matter how many storms…”
“Fine…go on, get out.”
He stared at her for a long moment, then putting his hat on his head he nodded. “Goodbye, Riley.”
“Goodbye…” she whispered as he left and the tears came.
Chapter Fifteen
Riley had cried until no more tears would come. She held the pillow that held Sam’s head all night long. But it was over and she had to face it, come what may. Sam was gone! She’d run him off with her declarations of love. Why hadn’t she kept quiet?
The answer was simple; she had to let him know how she felt. Well, she did it, and ran him off for good. But for one minute she absorbed his words, he wanted to kiss her everywhere, make her his…
The next day, she realized the dream catcher was still hanging above her bed. She took it off the wall and put it in her small bag of belongings that she had purchased.
Remaining a man would benefit her now, so she stayed in her clothes, paid her bill and left.
